Fatwa #630113 August 2002South Africa
There is a girl that i really want to get married to and she to me. her parents does not like me and in the begining i was judged on my looks
Question
1)There is a girl that i really want to get married too and she to me. her parents does not like me and in the begining i was judged on my looks. There was a time in my life that i use to smoke marijuana. Her parents found out about this, i did howeverstop before i met her Algamdoelillah. I made Toba and took an oath that i would never do it again in all sincerity. Up till today Algamdoelillah i havent done it. I took test to prove it to her parents and still they dont want to give in. Both of us made Istigharah and fell strongly about getting married. She told her parents that her outcome was possitive and they still dont want to give in. According to her family, her parents are very racist and i strongly believe that this is the real reason or them not giving in. Both of us are shaafie, will our nikah be valid if we get married wthout concent of the parents. There reasoning is wrong and it was proven that its because "i am not good looking enough for there daughter" 2)i had a dream in which i repeatidly recited only the first line on Tabarak, could you interpret it.
Answer
In the Shafi'i madhhab, when a sane virgin female who has reached puberty%0D%0Arequests her waliyy (in this case her father) to marry her to a man who is%0D%0Asocially compatible with her in terms of (a) piety and (b) profession, (out%0D%0Aof five factors that determine compatibility, these are the only two which%0D%0Aare applicable), her waliyy is under obligation to proceed with the marriage%0D%0Aand he may not refuse.%0D%0A%0D%0AIf he does refuse, the matter needs to be referred to a judicial authority%0D%0A(in our case, the regional 'ulama bodies). The father will be asked his%0D%0Areason for refusal, and if they are found to be valid, his refusal will be%0D%0Aupheld. On the other hand, if they are found to be baseless, the judicial%0D%0Aauthority will inform the father thereof, and will instruct him to proceed%0D%0Awith the marriage. Should he still refuse, he will become guilty of the sin%0D%0Aof 'adl (unreasonable refusal) and will lose his wilayah (authority to allow%0D%0Aand perform the marriage). The judicial authority is then entitled to%0D%0Aperform the marriage against the will of the father.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe fact that the questioner used to smoke marijuana once upon a time cannot%0D%0Abe used to prove his incompatibility with her if it is true that he has%0D%0A%0Agiven up that sin and has repented from it a considerable time ago. If he%0D%0Ahas only recently given it up, he needs to prove over a considerable period%0D%0Aof time (like 6 months) that he has completely abandoned it. The issue of%0D%0Ahis appearance may not be invoked as grounds for refusal. However, the%0D%0Afather will have to state his reasons for withholding his consent himself.%0D%0A%0D%0ATheir nikah will not be valid if her father is not involved in the%0D%0Aproceedings in the manner described above.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0AShaykh Taha Karaan%0D%0ADARUL ULOOM AL-ARABIYYA AL-ISLAAMIYYAH%0D%0AWestern Cape, SA