Fatwa #4608030 September 2020United States of America
Separation query
Question
I am married to a Muslim. I converted last year. We are now separated, living in different houses, living separate lives. I want to go visit a friend but my husband says that I can't do that because the dive is so long. He says that I still must do as he says and ask for his permission to go places and do things even though we are not together. Is this true? Do I still have to fallow his rules even while we are living apart and going about our lives as if we are not married to each other.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
It is pleasing to note you have accepted Islam. All praises are due to Allah who has chosen to guide you and bless you. May Allah keep you steadfast on Islam. Aamen.
Sister, you state that both of you are separated and living separate lives. Married couples ought to be staying together. Staying separate is against the spirit of marriage in Islam and defeats the purpose of a marital life being peace and comfort.
If your husband is concerned about the laws of Shariah regarding your travel, he also ought to be concerned about the Shariah laws of spouses living separately. Allah says in the Quran:
{فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ} [البقرة: 229]
Translation: Wives may be retained with correctness and courtesy or released with good will. (Baqarah: 229)
The husband should keep his wife with principle or release her gracefully. This is a clear injunction of Allah and that should be his main concern. He should make an effort to stay together with you. If that is not possible, then he should release you from the marriage bond to avoid both of you violating each other’s marital rights.
Nevertheless, we advise you to practice on the following Hadith to the best of your ability until the issue of separation is addressed and resolved:
إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شِئْتِ (مسند احمد: 1661)
Translation: When a woman performs her five Salah’s, and she observes the fasts of Ramadan, and she protects her chastity, and she obeys her husband, then it will be said to her: You may enter Jannah from any door you wish. (Musnad Ahmed: 1661)
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mahmood Suliman
Student Darul Iftaa
Gaborone, Botswana
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.