Fatwa #1473627 November 2006South Africa
A close male friend is in somewhat of a predicament. His mother left him the house ....
Question
A close male friend is in somewhat of a predicament. His mother left him the house for which he is still paying the bond off. He has a sister who has never gotten married. She has reached the age of 50 already and a brother who is separated from his wife who is in his 60. Due to the death of their one brother, this sister that stays with him inherited a lot of money. Currently she is a millionaire. The 60 year old brother, has a room in my friends house which he refuses to give up even though he is living somewhere else earning a living with his business. This brother expects my friend to look after him while he looks after his "wife" who is seeing somebody else and his daughters who is working. His sister is living with my friend who pays the bond including the water and lights as well as the telephone account. He has expenses for his car, which he needs for work purposes as well as some policies that he had to take out. However, given this day and age where everybody contributes to the household, even woman he feels that she should buy the food. Which is not a lot since she has never bought meat for the house, only fish and chicken and things she wants to eat. I would like to know what the sharia ruling is regarding him taking care of his sister if she does have the means to take care of herself. Is it his responsibility to look after her for the rest of his life? Or is it the eldest responsibility to take care of her? He is the baby of the family. What if he gets married, where will his priorities then be? With his sister or with his wife? I told him that no woman would want to live in a situation like that were she is working and contributing to the finances of the house while the millionaire sister wants to sleep till 11-12 every day and not to anything or contribute financially to the house. She does not even really clean the house, which is sometimes packed with dirt. She lies in her room everyday watching TV. If friends comes to visit she goes out with them not bothered that her brother has worked hard in the scorching sun the whole day and when he comes home he might be hungry. Sometimes, there is no food cooked either. This friend of mine also had a very close female friend that he was going to marry, but his family has a problem with her. She once came to the house and was very tired and needed to rest. She slept on his bed with the door open while he was playing games in the living room. This sister had a problem with this since it is there mothers bed. There mother had died 6 years ago but they still cling on to these earthly things. This sister has been telling here siblings things about this woman which is not true at all but they all believe her. After all these issues, his female friend is no longer welcome in his house. She told me that it sometimes felt like she was only good enough to sit on the floor in that house. That his sister use to give her dirty looks as well. I have read once that if somebody died and he had a wife and kids, his parents is still alive and he also had a sister. The parents and the kids gets the biggest share and then the wife while the sister is entitled to nothing of the man. Will this be the case in a situation like this as well? What can this friend of mine do to help him since this is really stressing him out and he is unable to continue with life in general. I think he wants to get married but because of this family problems he is unable to make any decisions and he feels that this female friend of his deserves better than what is happening to them now.
Any advise in how he can be helped will be appreciated since he is desperate for it.
Shukran
Answer
B) It is incorrect for your friend to have a girlfriend. It is haraam and a major sin. Your friend should convert that Haraam relationship into marriage and then stay with her. Your friend’s prime responsibility will be his wife and not his sister. However, he should still maintain family ties with his sister.
And Allah Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI
- When the world was in darkness of inhumanity, Allah Taala gave knowledge and guidance to Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam).
- The guidance through that Divine knowledge had changed the mindset of people and transformed the evil practices of people to the highest morals.
- Education and knowledge of Divine guidance is the backbone and foundation of reformation, prosperity and peace.
- Islam provides guidance and solution for every aspect of life. Ignorance of such knowledge leads one to look down upon Islam and suffer an inferiority complex.
- When one studies Islam, the Quran and Hadith, then only one will value the in-depth wisdom in such knowledge.
- Muslims are generally ignorant about Islam and that is the fundamental cause of our decline and retrogression.
- We have to educate ourselves on Islam and rise to the challenges of the times and once again prove ourselves as a dynamic Ummah. For that sacrifice, take out time to study Islam from reliable Ulama and scholars.
- If you cannot make your son an Aalim of Deen then encourage others to become Huffaz and Ulama. You will get the reward of the person studying and guiding people through his knowledge.
- If that too is difficult, at least help and assist a person who wishes to study Deen.
- Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, “When a person passes away all his deeds terminate except three, Sadaqah e Jaariyya (perpetual reward), pious child that makes Dua for the parents and knowledge through which others benefit”.
SEE OUR ALINAAM WEBSITE FOR HOW TO ENROLL AT OUR INSTITUTE- www.alinaam.org.za