Fatwa #45894Pakistan
Is my marriage still intact?
Question
Asalamualaykum wa rahmatulah,
I am confused regarding the concept of Kinaya words with regards to marriage. I am aware that there are many ambiguous words which can impact a marriage. However, my issue is that, I have a problem where whenever I speak, recite the Quran shareef or send durood, etc. I get this fearful, overwhelming thought in my mind that I am saying these words towards my wife. My confusion is I am fairly confident I have never said anything with the intention nor have I even had a context of such with my wife. We are newly married and still waiting to live together. What confuses me is these thoughts stick in my mind when I wake up and follow me throughout the day. Although I don't want these thoughts to be there. I have said many things, especially in the work place and this thought came to mind although I do not want it to be. Whenever I am about to say a kinaya word I stop immediately, but this is near impossible. Sometimes when I finish a form or questionnaire, I get scared to do the form as when I submit, I have to click on a kinaya word? Does clicking on a word even make a difference?
These thoughts sometimes come before I even speak, for example before I speak with my wife I say taawuz because I fear these thoughts will come, then when I speak to her I am always having to correct my intention and avoid many words whilst speaking, this makes conversation difficult for us.
My Question is
1.) Are these thoughts from Satan?
2.) Can you explain the concept of kinaya
3.) Has my nikkah been impacted, due to the words I have said and the unwanted thoughts in my mind? They sometimes come before, during or after.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Kināyah (ambiguous) divorce is where the intention of divorce is expressed using ambiguous words. If a kināyah statement is stated, one ṭalāq bā'in will take place provided ṭalāq was intended. If the husband wishes to take back his wife, they will have to re-perform the nikah with her consent.
After reading the contents of your email, we confirm that no divorce has taken place and your marriage is intact. The statements and thoughts do not affect the validity of your marriage as you have clearly stated you never intended divorce by any of these ambiguous statements. It appears that you are only having waswasah as you are constantly unsure of your intentions by these statements and situations. If you continue to experience this waswasah, then do not pay heed to any such thoughts. It is important that you seek council and advice from a specialist and/or a reputable Alim who can give you guidance on how to cure your waswasah.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Abrar Habib
Student - Darul Iftaa
New York City, New York, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.