Fatwa #31827 August 2000Pakistan
How should tarbiyyah between sons and daughters differ, especially when they are naughty?
Question
My daughters are 3 and 5 and my son is 1 yrs old.My mother recomends that you should never shout or hit your daughters. However on the rare occasion that I have hit them when they're extremely naughty then they have refrained from that particular naughty act in the future.My wife usually says that she should be the sole punisher however I believe that my contribution every so often greatly improves their tarbiyyah
Answer
When children are naughty and the only solution to reform them is hitting
them, parents should not hit them in the state of anger as the intention of
hitting them may be to cool off their anger.
Such an intention will defeat the purpose of hitting, being reformation. It
is suggested that parents in the state of anger exercise tolerance by
containing their anger until it subsides. Thereafter, create an impression
of anger and hit the child. Hitting the child with the proper intention will
realise the desired effect.
And Allah Taãla Knows Best.
Was salaam
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
them, parents should not hit them in the state of anger as the intention of
hitting them may be to cool off their anger.
Such an intention will defeat the purpose of hitting, being reformation. It
is suggested that parents in the state of anger exercise tolerance by
containing their anger until it subsides. Thereafter, create an impression
of anger and hit the child. Hitting the child with the proper intention will
realise the desired effect.
And Allah Taãla Knows Best.
Was salaam
Mufti Ebrahim Desai