Q: Can a father break up his daughters marriage simply because it was donewithout his consent & that we are of 2 different nationalities?

Jazakallah for the questions which you have submitted to the institute. You write about the stubborn resistance your wife's parents have displaced towards your union before and after your marriage.%0D%0A%0D%0ATell me, besides your different nationalities, what other reasons do her family have for refusing this union? If there is no other reasons and if you are an upright, pious person who is in a position to support their daughter and treat her with kindness, then it is difficult to understand why they should be so resistant.%0D%0A%0D%0AYou say her brother represented her in 'giving' her to you in nikah, that the mehr was set and that you had two witnesses to your marriage. You have met the requirements for the nikah to be valid.%0D%0A%0D%0ATo answer your questions:%0D%0A%0D%0AHer father has no right according to Shariah to annul her marriage to you since her mahram, namely her brother, represented her at her nikah. Yes, her parents will be held accountable for breaking up this union. Allah Ta'ala will deal with them most severely for causing a divorce to take place on the basis of NATIONAL "PRIDE". This is self-destructive and 'other-destructive' behaviour and they will be taken to task for ruining their daughter's life. In fact, if one takes this situation one step further, what are they going to do with her if they succeed in destroying her union to you? Will they force her to marry someone else? Even in that case they will be acting contrary to Shariah. You have performed nikah with her, so your rights over her are as Allah Ta'ala has commanded and according to the precepts of Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam). You should not be seperated from your wife by anyone without your consent.%0D%0A%0D%0ABrother it is sad that thousands of parents from the Sub-continent (%0D%0AIndia%2FPakistan) tend to hold onto these chauvinistic and nationalistic ideas and believe that they can in any daft way be superior to each other in any way. Piety is the only criteria for superiority and yet, who can claim to be more pious than another? Only Allah Ta'ala knows who is pious and who is not. What we should strive for is to gain knowledge of deen and of our obligations towards our children. It is a lack of deeni knowledge and a rejection of Allah Ta'ala's laws which drive parents to do as they wish with their children. They usurp their children's rights and worst of all, they incur the wrath of Allah Ta'ala in every way. Your parents in law should take serious note of what they are planning to do and avoid calamities from befalling upon them. Surely in the hereafter the repurcussions will be most severe. May Allah Ta'ala guide all concerned and end the animosity and anger. May each Muslim accept the other for Allah Ta'ala's pleasure, for surely then only can we truly have 'brotherhood' in Islam. Ameen. I include an article on Forced marriages (below) for your information. ( Also read answer to question 9345).%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A1SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai%0D%0A%0D%0AForced Marriages%0D%0AUzma Mazhar%0D%0AThe most important thing to recognize is that Isl%E2m does not permit or validate any contract (business or otherwise) of a minor. A child, who does not understand the implications of a contract is not permitted to make or give consent to contracts on his%2Fher behalf.%0D%0A%0D%0AAll contracts have certain requirements that have to be fulfilled, and it is necessary for a person to fully understand not only the requirements but what it entails to fulfill that contract, ie: the implication of the fine print. Islam restricts a minor's free control of his wealth or person and a wali is assigned in such cases. The same applies in matters of marriage. In the absence of a father the wali could be another adult of the family or assigned by court.%0D%0A%0D%0ASince Isl%E2m does not allow a minor to conduct business or make financial decisions for himself or herself, a marital contract of a minor falls under the same premise.%0D%0A%0D%0AIsl%E2m does not give a father the right to use his children's wealth without their permission, how could he be allowed to decide, without the daughter's permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to and is mature enough to decide for herself?%0D%0A%0D%0AAbu Hurayrah (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said: "A previously married woman may not be married without her command, and a never married woman may not be married without her permission; and permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." (Al-Bukh%E2ri, Muslim, and%0D%0Aothers)%0D%0A%0D%0AThe Prophet (saw) prohibits forcing a woman in marriage without her permission, whether it be by her father or anyone else.%0D%0A%0D%0A%C1isha (ra) said that she asked the Prophet (saw): "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a young woman will be shy, O All%E2h's Messenger." He answered: "Her silence is [considered as] her permission." (Al-Bukh%E2ri, Muslim, and%0D%0Aothers)%0D%0A%0D%0AThe difference between the previously married woman and a never married woman in the had%EEth of the Prophet (saw) is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; rather, the difference between the two cases is that%0D%0A%0D%0A(a) the previously married woman gives her instructions for the marriage%0D%0A(b) the never married woman gives permission%0D%0A%0D%0AThe reason given for this is that a never-married woman may be shy in discussing the matter of her marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her wali (guardian) is approached, he must have her permission.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs for a previously married woman who can discuss the matter of her own marriage, she can be proposed to directly, and she gives the command to her wali to perform the marriage, and he must obey her. Thus the wali is command-executor in the case of the previously married woman, and is permission-seeker in the case of a never-married woman. This is what the Prophet's words indicate.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs for compelling a woman to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamental principles of choice and right to making decisions about your own life.. All%E2h Ta'ala did not permit a wali to force his ward to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did All%E2h Ta'ala permit the parent or guardian to force his ward to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to marry a person whose company she hates?%0D%0A%0D%0AHowever, instances in which 'silence is as permission' is widely abused.%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0AIF you are in a situation which is forcing you against%0D%0Ayour will then you should actively and patiently%0D%0Ado the following :%0D%0A%0D%0A1. Try very politely & show your parents%2Fgardians the relevant ayas%0D%0Ain the Quran and refer them to the Sun'na Hadithes etc.%0D%0A%0D%0A2. In tandem , ask your knowledgeable group %2F circle mature%0D%0Afriends to talk to your parents on a regular basis. Impress on them that THEY are NOT exempt from hisab %2F punishment for not obeying the Quran in their ignorance%2Fpride or whatever.The Quran forbids us to follow in the wrong footsteps of our parents %2F grand parents etc; this ALSO applies to your parents. They sometimes FALSELY THINK that being parents GIVES THEM a right that IS NOT GIVEN to them in the Quran. NO ONE OWNS anyone. A girl MUST NOT be forced into a depressive unhappy life for the sake of anyone; its cruelty & oppression and is a by product of IGNORANCE & PRIDE.%0D%0A%0D%0A3. You can persuade the local mosque imam to speak to them%0D%0A%0D%0A4. And at ALL times humbly pray to ALLAH ...this is what most muslim westernised girls leave out!..... asking HIM to guide your parents and prevent a social disaster !.....ie IF the girl DOES NOT LIKE the groom at all.%0D%0AThe final choice should be hers.%0D%0A