Fatwa #27857 May 2001United States of America
Mixed signals
Question
I am a Muslim female and I met a Muslim brother who I am inclined to marry. I did not see him for a couple of months and asked Allah to give me a sign as to who will be my husband and I saw him two days later. However after this, I did not see him for many more months and begin praying Istikhara for 7 consecutive nights. I am still very confused and do not know if he is meant for me. What should I do? Also, I am very shy and cannot approach my elders.
Answer
Nikah is a very great Ibaadat in Islam. Besides, it is a Sunnat of many%0D%0AAmbiyaa (Alayhimus salaam) and the Sunnat of our beloved Prophet%0D%0A(Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam).%0D%0A%0D%0AThe prescriptions for a prosperous and successful marriage are found clearly%0D%0Ain the Ahaadith of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). The most%0D%0Aimportant things after Imaan are Taqwa (fear of Allah), adherence to the%0D%0ASunnat and Akhlaaq-e-Hasana). If at least these three qualities are found in%0D%0Athe person and you are satisfied, then make Mashwara with the seniors in%0D%0Ayour family. There is no need to be shy, because this concerns your future.%0D%0AApproach them and take their opinions as well.%0D%0A%0D%0AIn Mashwara, there is always the help of Allah Ta'ala. It would be better%0D%0Afor you to take up your matter with them, than to stay quite and involve%0D%0Ayourself in the Zina (fornication of the heart and mind) and incur sin upon%0D%0Ayourself. Don't delay in the matter. If you come to some agreement to%0D%0Apropose to him, then ask the seniors in the family to make the approach for%0D%0Ayou. We cannot tell you whether he is meant for you or not. This rests%0D%0Atotally in the knowledge of Allah Ta'ala.%0D%0A%0D%0AYour greatest help is Du'aa and Salaat. Make Du'aa to Allah Ta'ala to grant%0D%0Ayou a pious and tolerant husband. Remember, whatever is destined for you,%0D%0Awill come to you. Don't be despondent. Have hopes in the mercy of Allah Ta'%0D%0Aala. I do not understand what you have meant by, 'I met a Muslim brother',%0D%0Aif you have some relationship with him, terminate it immediately. This could%0D%0Atake away the Barkat (blessing) from your marriage. Besides, it is totally%0D%0Aprohibited in Islam. And keep your heart open to Allah Ta'ala. Don't%0D%0Apresettle this though in your mind that you are going to be married to this%0D%0Aperson. Rather, tell Allah Ta'ala that you will be content with whatever he%0D%0Adecides. He Knows what's good for you and what's not.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala mak it easy for you.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0AMufti Ebrahim Desai%0D%0AFATWA DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0A