Fatwa #25937 April 2001United States of America
Controlling Fiancee
Question
My fiancee is incredibly controlling. Is it right for him to say that I am supposed to do whatever it is that he tells me to do.And he does not have to listen to me at all.And is it right for him to make me feel basically like I am his slave.And is it right that he has hit me a few times? We're not even married yet and he tells me that when we get married I will not be able to go out with friends or family if he doesn't want me to.And I am thinking of leaving him but i don't want to hurt my father.And we have already had sex.
Answer
Respected Brother-in-Islam
Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu
At the outset, we wish to point out that the western concept of
Fiance/fiancée relationship is Haraam (strictly prohibited). Islam prohibits
every type of pre-marital relationship, speaking, etc. and such a
relationship is tantamount to Zina (adultery).
Your complains against your fiancée is not legitimate as your relationship
with him is itself illegal. The only solution to your problem is to make
Tawbah (sincere repentance) to Allah Ta'ala and sever all ties with the boy.
If the boy wish to marry you, then you should exercise precaution and make
Mashwara (consult) with your parents and other seniors. You should also make
Istikhaara (seek divine guidance).
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.
Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu
At the outset, we wish to point out that the western concept of
Fiance/fiancée relationship is Haraam (strictly prohibited). Islam prohibits
every type of pre-marital relationship, speaking, etc. and such a
relationship is tantamount to Zina (adultery).
Your complains against your fiancée is not legitimate as your relationship
with him is itself illegal. The only solution to your problem is to make
Tawbah (sincere repentance) to Allah Ta'ala and sever all ties with the boy.
If the boy wish to marry you, then you should exercise precaution and make
Mashwara (consult) with your parents and other seniors. You should also make
Istikhaara (seek divine guidance).
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.