I have serious problem controling my desires. Especially when it comes to looking at girls in school.

Masturbation is a spiritual malady that cannot be cured merely by reciting%0D%0Asome Du'aa. The real core is Mujaahadah - to strive against the evil desires%0D%0Aof the Nafs. Du'aa may assist one in this effort, but it is not the actual%0D%0Aremedy.%0D%0A%0D%0AJust as in the case of a physical ailments, one is required to seek medical%0D%0Aattention, and together with this make Du'aa for cure. Similarly, one is%0D%0Arequired to adopt a programme of Mujaahadah, and together with this make Du'%0D%0Aaa for release from this spiritual evil. The Du'aa will create Barakah%0D%0A(blessings) in one's effort.%0D%0A%0D%0ARegarding the remedies of masturbation, a few are mentioned below:%0D%0A%0D%0ANikah%0D%0AAllah Ta'ala has created man with innate carnal desires, and has made Nikah%0D%0Aa lawful and dignified avenue to discharge these desires.%0D%0A%0D%0AUnder normal circumstances, Nikah is Sunnah. If a man's sexual desires reach%0D%0Aa stage where there is a strong fear that he will be involved in Zina%0D%0A(fornication), it will then be Waajib (compulsory) for him to make Nikah. At%0D%0Athis juncture, shyness is no excuse. The man will have to approach his%0D%0Aelders and request them to make arrangements for his Nikah.%0D%0A%0D%0ANikah should not be delayed or avoided for fear of poverty and want. In the%0D%0AAhaadith, we are told that Nikah creates Barakah in one's sustenance. Allah%0D%0ATa'ala has taken it upon himself to assist that person who performs Nikah in%0D%0Aorder to protect his chastity. Nikah is a simple and inexpensive affair in%0D%0AIslam. The errant customs of societies have made it difficult for others.%0D%0AThe solution is to abandon all such customs and conduct the Nikah strictly%0D%0Aaccording to the Sunnah. Nikah, then will not be a burden, rather it will%0D%0Arelease one from a burden.%0D%0A%0D%0AMasturbation%0D%0AThe person involved in masturbation is almost certainly a victim of evil%0D%0Agazes. It is, thus, imperative to strictly guard the gaze. Where it is%0D%0Apractical, avoid all such situations where ones gaze may fall on Ghayr%0D%0AMahram (women not prohibited in Nikah) females. TV, books, magazines,%0D%0Ainternet, newspapers, should be shunned.%0D%0A%0D%0AShould one's gaze accidentally fall on some woman, immediately lower the%0D%0Agaze. This is not difficult. It only requires some courage and training.%0D%0ASome points that may assist in this are:%0D%0A1. Consider that this is not a calamity but rather an opportunity to win a%0D%0Abig prize. It is a once in a life opportunity to strike a huge windfall. In%0D%0Athe Hadith, we are told that a person, who, after having been tempted ,%0D%0Alowers his gaze, Allah Ta'ala will grant him the sweetness of Imaan. What%0D%0Amore can one ask for? The one who has the sweetness of Imaan has everything.%0D%0AOthers strive their entire life for this very goal of finding the sweetness%0D%0Aof Imaan. Here is the opportunity to acquire this in a split second.%0D%0ATherefore, lower the gaze and in your heart make this transaction with Allah%0D%0ATa'ala that, 'O Allah! I am lowering my gaze for you. So you grant me your%0D%0Ashare of the deal, i.e. the sweetness of Imaan.%0D%0A2. By maintaining the gaze, one is in fact moving to the depths of Jahannum%0D%0A(hell). And by lowering the gaze, one is ascending the highest ranks of%0D%0AJannah.%0D%0A3. Consider the reality of the woman at whom one is gazing. If she does not%0D%0Agroom herself or apply perfume for one day, she will look dreadful and%0D%0Astink. For a number of days every month she has impurity pouring out of her.%0D%0AIf one had to just go near such impurity, one will wish to flee. Imagine if%0D%0Ashe went to the toilet and forget to flush and, if you had to enter the%0D%0Atoilet, will you still have the desire to gaze at her? If this woman does%0D%0Anot have Deen, then by raising her arms and exposing her unsightly armpits,%0D%0Ashe will give out the smell of a skunk. These are some thoughts (although%0D%0Aundignified), will assist one in taming the evil desire to look at women.%0D%0A4. Try as far as possible to remain in the state of Wudhu. In the Hadith, we%0D%0Aare informed that Wudhu is the weapon of a Mu'min. With this weapon, it is%0D%0Amuch easier for him to thwart the onslaughts of Shaytaan.%0D%0A5. Try to remain in the company of the true friends of Allah Ta'ala. The%0D%0Atrue friends are those that, when you sit with them they remind you of Allah%0D%0ATa'ala and their company produces a desire for the Aakhirah (hereafter). The%0D%0Acompany of such people is extremely effacious in imbuing the obedience of%0D%0AAllah Ta'ala, and in cultivating an abhorrence to sin.%0D%0A6. There must surely be somebody who you have a lot of respect for, e.g.%0D%0Ayour mother, father, grand parents, Ustaadh or Shaykh.%0D%0AConsider if that person was present, would you indulge in the evil of%0D%0Amasturbating. The very fact that the presence of such a person will deter%0D%0Ayou is sufficient to show that you do have the strength to abstain from this%0D%0Aevil. When the presence of such a person will be a cause for controlling one%0D%0A's desires, consider that fact that the Malaaikah (angels) are with you and%0D%0Aare watching. Progress and consider that Allah Ta'ala is watching you. Do%0D%0Ayou not feel ashamed of His presence whereas you feel ashamed of the%0D%0Apresence of a human being. Is this the degree of respect that Allah Ta'ala%0D%0Adeserves?%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala save you and every Ummati from this evil, Aameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0AMufti Ebrahim Desai%0D%0AFATWA DEPT.