Fatwa #228322 February 2001United States of America
I would like to know if it is haram to be in love with someone other than your spouse?
Question
I was inlove with someone that I could not be married to because of our families. However, I am married now to someone else, yet I still feel love for the other person. I feel that I should be married to the one I love. I always think of that person even during intimate moments with my spouse and I feel I am being untruthful and unfare to this marriage. I have tried for the past two years (since I've been married) to forget about that person and move on. I understand that to be in love or fall in love with someone other than your spouse in baseless according to Islam. But what shall a person do when facing this dilema? How do I achieve control over my emotions? Please understand that I have no communication or contact with the one I'm inlove with. We have not spoken since before my wedding 2 years ago. Your detailed answer will be greatly appreciated and helpful! InshAllah...Aslamalakum
Answer
There are two types of love: voluntary and involuntary.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe involuntary love is where there is a feeling of love in the heart. But%0D%0Aone does not cultivate or pursue this feeling. One tries to ignore this%0D%0Afeeling but it causes pain. For this pain, one will be rewarded. The more%0D%0Aone makes Sabr, uses one intellect and understands that it is not practical%0D%0Ato follow the demands of this love, then one is drawing closer to Allah Ta'%0D%0Aala due to the Sabr (patience) one is adopting.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe second type of love is voluntary. After experiencing the feeling of love%0D%0Ain the heart, one contemplates about the beloved one. To have this type of%0D%0Alove for someone besides one's wife is sinful. It is sinful to intentionally%0D%0Afantasise about this other woman. If at the time of intimacy with one;s%0D%0Awife, one fantasises about this other woman, then you will be considered to%0D%0Abe making Zina. You will get the sin of Zina because of your intentions%0D%0Awhile your wife will get no sin.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe solution is to ignore this love in the heart. Do not contemplate or%0D%0Afantasise about this person and avoid contact with her. If any thought about%0D%0Athis woman involuntarily enters the mind, ignore it. Ignoring it causes you%0D%0Apain then make Sabr, for which you will be highly rewarded. If you pass away%0D%0Ain this state, then, Insha Allah, you will receive the reward of one who was%0D%0Amartyred in the path of Allah Ta'ala.%0D%0A%0D%0AMake Du'aa unto Allah Ta'ala to replace the love of a mortal with his%0D%0Aeternal love. May Allah Ta'ala grant us all his true love, Aameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0AMufti Ebrahim Desai%0D%0AFATWA DEPT.