Fatwa #185812 January 2001Pakistan
I have performed Nikah, but not consumated the marriage as we have not done Walima yet. My wife is violatingmy rights. If i leave her, am i obliged to pay mahr, and if so, what portion?
Question
.Salaam u Alaikum. I have performed nikah, but have not consumated. My wife is disobedient, disrespectful, has a bad attitude and raises her voice over mine. These qualities only came out after we performed Nikah. I have asked her to change her ways but she refuses, and says she will not change for anyone. She told me if I want to divorce her I can. If I divorce her, am I obliged to pay mahr, and can I request gifts back from her. Jazakullah Khair
Answer
Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa Sallam said: Verily the most detestable%0D%0Ahalaal act in the sight of Allah Ta'ala is Talaaq (divorce). In view of the%0D%0Aabove-mentioned Hadith you should avoid giving your wife divorce without%0D%0Ahaving exhausted every avenue of addressing the marital dispute.%0D%0AAlmighty Allah says in the Qur'aan "And those women concerning whom you fear%0D%0Adisobedience, so advise them, leave them in their beds (do not be intimate)%0D%0Aand hit them (lightly)"%0D%0AIn advising your wife, you should be wise and diplomatic as wisdom and%0D%0Adiplomacy are the most efficient tools of success. However, if you are%0D%0Aunsuccessful in that, then only should you distance yourself from her in the%0D%0Abed, and if that too is unsuccessful, you may hit her lightly in order to%0D%0Ajolt her. After having exhausted these avenues prescribed by Allah Ta'ala,%0D%0Aif you are still unsuccessful, both parties should appoint their%0D%0Arepresentatives to address the dispute. If the representatives are sincere%0D%0Ain their approach, Allah Ta'ala will unite the hearts of the disputing%0D%0Aspouses. If you are still unsuccessful, then we advise you make Istikhaarah%0D%0A(Seek Divine guidance) from Allah Ta'ala before proceeding with the divorce.%0D%0AKindly refer to Istikhaarah on this site. Should you finally decide to%0D%0Adivorce her, then if the mahr was stipulated and you were in isolation with%0D%0Aher wherein there was no Shari prohibition to be intimate with her, then you%0D%0Ahave to give her the stipulated mahr. If there was a Shari prohibition, for%0D%0Aexample she was experiencing menses, then she will be entitled to only half%0D%0Aof the stipulated mahr.%0D%0AThe gifts given to her during marriage belongs to her. You cannot claim back%0D%0Athose gifts.%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd Allah Ta'ala Knows Best. %0D%0A%0D%0AMufti E. Desai %0D%0A