regarding marriage? we’re in nikah and rukhsati is yet to take place - isn’t she suppose to stay or go where her husband is

It is of great concern that your nikaah has just taken place and rukhsatie yet to take place and already an upheavel in marriage. This period should be the most beautiful courtship, honey period of your life together looking down the years. When working through issues in life how would things fair? Especially when everyone wants their rights fulfilled. One always wants others to obey and follow, but to bring change within ones self is out of the question.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo dearest brother from what information you have furnished, first lets start with the self. Your wife should be your partner and love of your life, you are not the police and she the servant. Soften up ! Enjoy a period of courtship, admire and express your appreciation of her beauty, her good lovely characteristics. (From what you say she probably needs that love and response and attraction towards her.)%0D%0A%0D%0AYour heartful love fill encourage her to soften up to you. Your spoiling her with gifts and attention too will soften the grounds. Yes you are too far away from her -in America whilst your wife in Dubai. Call her over and live with her whilst you practice, send your monies over to pay the required expenses for your father's debts and for your families. %0D%0A%0D%0AClarify your intention and time limit with your wife on both your stay in America and for your return to Dubai. However a word of caution, separate accommodation is strongly recommended. Remember your wife has to observe hijaab with your brothers "Brother in law is death to your wife." This limitation of freedom in her own house is not very healthy for you and your wife, also your wife does not have to pay the price for your studies that is not fair.%0D%0A%0D%0AFurthermore yes it's true your wife has to submit to hijaab requirements and to please the husbnd. However when you chose her, were you not aware of her dressing and work? Hence overnight change may be difficult for her.%0D%0A%0D%0ATo encourage change with your wife the following recipe is encouraged.%0D%0A%0D%0A1. Win her love, care and trust.%0D%0A2. Spend on her%0D%0A3. Call her over she then has to leave work.%0D%0A4. Admire her beauty.%0D%0A5. You start changing turn towards Allah Ta'ala, amke dua change your life.%0D%0A%0D%0AKeep your gaze lowered, don't admire other women. Stop watching T.V.%2FMovies, start growing a beard, wear loose clothing and if possible Kurta.%0D%0A%0D%0AThis surely is a long list and challenge. Don't despair and make a firm intention , make tauba, pled your helplessness to Allah Ta'ala express your weakness in changing seeking tawfeeq. Then make small efforts one step towards Allah Ta'ala, HE will take 10 steps towards you. %0D%0A%0D%0ASeeing your efforts, your genuineness, your love, your respect in your wife's eyes will grow. Insha Allah. She will dress Insha Allah beautifully for you and don her outer garnents when she leaves the home. Insha Allah coming from within her heart. Your example will succeed. Unlimited lectures may not, unless if Allah Ta'ala wills. %0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A2SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai