My main question is today is our nikah valid in this kind of situation and since he agreed for separation verbally everytime ...

Asalaam Aekum,

My nikah took place in July 2005. After less than 6 months of nikah i realized i had done a mistake of not involving my parents in nikah. Neiher his family nor anyone from my family was involved in the nikah. We lived separate for more than 4 yrs and met only once after nikah and stayed together only for 2 days. because we had lot of differences among us and also he had no time to come forward and talk to my parents and i started hating his behaviour towards me. Even he hates me today and does not want to settle with me at any cost. He does not want to say the word Talak but told me to apply for Khula. He has abused me and my family many times and told them he does not want this kind of a wife.
I want to know if my nikah is valid or not as of today. In this past 4 yrs, we have been contacting each other through mails, offline chats messages and calls but we have not met each other. There were lots of instances where my husband has agreed that he would sign on any paper sent to him about khula from me. Infact once he himself said to send the papers to his house and he will sign ans send it back and this nikah. Atleast 5 to 6 times in the past 4 yrs he has verbally accepted to separate. I have made the documents ready from my end and sent the khula papers to him. He said he will sign and send it in few days, sometimes he says he agreeing to khula but wants to change the sentences in the documents of khula i sent.
My main question is today is our nikah valid in this kind of situation and since he agreed for separation verbally everytime and long back then when shuold i sit for iddat or is my iddat already done. Please let me know ASAP. Please let me know what i shold do next in this relation.

Shukriya
Walekum Salaam
Allah Hafiz