Fatwa #1471921 November 2006United Kingdom
have recently married my cousin from and I live in the . My wife has yet to come to the and I believe that I made a rash decision while I was in and I am beginning to regret it (I was not forced).
Question
Assalam’alaykum wa’rahmatulaahi wa barakaatu
Hope you are in good health. I have recently married my cousin from and I live in the . My wife has yet to come to the and I believe that I made a rash decision while I was in and I am beginning to regret it (I was not forced). I prayed Istikhaarah and undertook consultation with people before the marriage. My family are happy. One problem is I believe that there will be a big culture difference, western and eastern. The other problem is that I have received 3 proposals in 2 months since I have been back!! My wife in is underage to come to the and her family are increasing her age on the paper work (Is that allowed?), therefore I can make her unable to come to the . I now want to marry my cousin (1 of the three proposals received). What shall I do? Is this natural? Is shaytaan whispering to me? Is this a test? Please advise me.
Wa’laykum asalaam
(May Allah bless you for the time you have taken out to answer this question)
Answer
Muhtaram
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
You state you were not forced and married your cousin on your own choice. You also make Istikhaara and it was positive and therefore proposed to marry.
The question is that after following the correct procedures and you were happy with marrying her, why now you have a doubt on your decision. Is it not because you received more convincing proposals after this which make you reconsider? If so, you should carefully investigate the proposal. If the new proposal is better in the sense it will make you closer to Deen and enhance your connection with Allah, then you should reconsider. However, if the new proposal has changed your mind due to material benefit, then this could be Shaytaan trying to mislead you.
The issue of underage is not relevant at this stage. This could be excuses that you are finding in trying to break off the proposal. You should consult with your parents and explain to them your dilemma. You should outline constructive reasons for your reconsideration. Also make Istikhara and seek guidance from Allah.
Once you have made your decision you could ask the seniors of the family to discuss the issue and resolve it. Do not try to approach the matter on your own as you are inexperienced and could cause more harm to yourself and the girl.
You rather bear the burden of this before the Rukhsati or Wadaa than taking her and regretting you ever married her.
And Allah Knows Best
Muhammed Zakariyya Desai
Student: Darul Ifta
Checked and Approved
Moulana Emraan Vawda