I am a young girl living in Western Culture. I can’t say that I am lesbian or not, but I have been always of a mind towards women from my childhood

Jazakallah khair for sharing with us the grave concerns you have regarding your sexual orientation.

Sister, it is encouraging that you are aware of Allah Ta'ala's laws and His plans for you as a Muslimah. I agree with you that you are a victim of your environment. Be that as it may, I also get a sense that you are desperate to get yourself out of Shaitaan's clutches and that you wish to free yourself from this burden which weighs so heavily on you. It is unfortunate that your cousin trifled with you at such a vulnerable age. Allow me to say that you should not let these incidents impact negatively on your life for ever.

Let us look at what has become widely acceptable and fashionable in most countries in the world lately.You should understand that a big deal is made of abortions, gambling, group sex, wife swapping, pornography, kidnapping of human beings for the sex trade (human trafficking), sexual abuse of children and child porn. I probably am unaware of many other deviant actions which are acceptable to human beings these days and you see that the list is endless. Add to this tally the so called 'marriage' between man and man/ woman and woman which is also normal now and dare one speak out against it. Sister, where do we draw the line?

We clearly get the picture that what is loved by shaitaan is being loved increasingly by people and what is loved by Allah Ta'ala is put on the back burner.

You say that you hate yourself. Dont hate yourself for you are Allah Ta'ala's creation just as we all are. He did not create you in vain. You are undergoing a test at the moment. You strike me as a powerful woman who can make a great contribution in many different ways to the Muslim Ummah. Life is about choices we make.

Rather hate the environment which you are exposed to and try to figure out how you can remedy this for yourself. What you are fantasizing about the moment is what is being fed to you via the lifestyles carried out by many who wish to take you along the forbidden road and into destruction. You may say to me that "nobody is telling me to do this". I say to you that think about the exposure you have to various forms of media, the laws which make homosexuality acceptable and legal and the discussions which go on ad-nauseum where one is encouraged to be "politically correct" and 'accept all human beings for what they are.' This approach erodes our morals and principles as Muslims and do remember that we are shaitaan's number one targets. You are aware of the trap you have been caught up in. Don't allow yourself to be carried away by the tide of this popular thinking that it is really what you are.

Sister, do away with everything in your home and in your life which may expose you and make you vulnerable to this form of thinking. Stop watching T.V, movies, reading magazines and any literature which hints at lesbianism and this deviant behavior. Avoid places frequented by people who are liberal in their thinking to the extent that they see nothing wrong with deviating from Allah Ta'ala's laws. Do not attend any talks or listen to debates where the 'virtues' of this behavior are discussed or thrashed out. Allah Ta'ala most graphically tells us what the end result was of the people who refused to give up that which He had forbidden. Avoid women and men who are steeped in these activities and orientation.

Empower yourself with a desire to be who you truly are. A woman created by Allah Ta'ala who is now struggling to free herself from the clutches of all that is not what she wants to be. You are of a marriageable age now.You have not had the comfort of a man sleeping next to you as a husband. You have not tasted the sweet companionship and the warmth of his love to let you know the difference of what a man can do for a woman. This is Allah Ta'ala's law and plan for us that man and woman have been created as companions and garments for each other. Allah Ta'ala could not be wrong in choosing man for woman and woman for man to make them fit as garments into each other. How can we then deny the pleasured that Allah Ta'ala has put in the union between man and woman? How can we deny, just because shaitaan has tried to make us believe differently? Do we believe our avowed enemy who tells us that woman is right for woman or do we believe Allah Ta'ala, our Creator, who tells us that this is part of His plans for our comfort, love, peace, joy and a means of increasing the Ummah of Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam)

We are given higher stages than the angels and we are more beloved to Allah Ta'ala than all of His other Creation put together. Life is all about choices. Angels dont have choices, they perform whatever duties which have been assigned to them by their Creator. You have it in your power to make the choices which will benefit you and which will earn you the greatest good in thsi world and the hereafter. You stand to have your stages in Jannah raised to very high levels by making the right choice regarding this matter. Allah Ta'ala will not be unmindful of your desire to obey His laws and to seek His pleasure, there can only be good in that choice.

I suggest the you start studying the Quran with intensity, learn about the lofty stages Allah Ta'ala has created for women who obey and who submit to His will, learn about what beauty there is in motherhood, being a pious and good wife and the great heights of pleasure and joy in having a husband in the true sense of the word. Why settle for less?

perform your 5 daily punctually, get up for Tahajjud salaah, give sadqa frequently, learn the hadith with a learned friend or scholar and turn your life around towards Allah Ta'ala and away from that which cannot benefit you in anyway. May Allah Ta'ala guide you. Ameen

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (FATWA DEPT)