What are the obligations towards the biological and the step father?

Jazakallah ghair for writing to the institute with your query.

Alhamdulillah your husband has accepted paternal responsibilities by looking after your daughters. He is indeed a very fortunate man and may Allah Ta'ala reward him abundantly for his kindness towards you and your children. ameen. Your daughters are probably aware that your present husband is not their biological father. Be that as it may, I am sure that they love and respect him and this is good for their upbringing as he appears to be a good role model. Their rights over him are that he should continue to protect them from harm and act in their best interests at all times.

Insha'allah as they grow up they will continue to appreciate his input in their upbringing, accept him and honor him as their 'father'. However, they have to know that they have a biological father of their own too.

Your former husband's failure to fulfill his responsibilities towards his daughters is mainly his loss. The matter is between him and Allah Ta'ala in one sense. However, you also have to take into consideration that he is their father, that they carry his name and that if at a later stage in life they decide that they want to get to know him or have contact with him, you should not try to stop them.

This may not be easy for you but you have to remember that most children want to know and be loved by both parents. It happens that sometime in their adult or teen years, individuals have a need to know and get in contact with their 'roots'. As painful as it may appear to you, it will not advisable to take the moral high ground or feel that your daughters are betraying you or their step father. This is a natural phenomenon and a human need which cannot be wished away. You may be aware that even children who are abused by their parents over a period of time still prefer to be with their parents.

The human need to be loved and accepted by one's own parents is stronger in some folk than in others. If you refuse to allow them to have contact with him, it could have repercussions on you later. This is a decision you need to make very carefully. Try not to get too involved in their relationship with their father since it is limited to telephonic calls once a year. At least he is not 'popping' up every now and then to claim them or take them out. It may just be advisable not to say much about his calls and let them decide if they want to discuss it with you. Respect their decisions as far as their choices in relation to their father is concerned. You may actually gain more of their love and respect if you allow them to make up their own minds about their father. They are now reaching an age when they do understand much more and are more aware of relationships and the fact that even though parents may not get on, they themselves are offsprign of these parents. May Allah Ta'ala make it easy for you to make wise decisions regarding your children, ameen.

And Allah Ta'ala knows best.

Sister Fadila
Social dept

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai