My husband and I do mashura for decisions for our lives and for our household. My husband says he is happy in our marriage and he has no worries,

Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your problem. %0D%0A%0D%0AYou write that your husband tends to make all decisions in your home and that he is tight fisted. Alhamdoelillah, you have made sabr thus far and may Allah Ta'ala reward you abundantly for this virtue, ameen. You are correct in implying that a couple should make joint decisions, especially in running the daily household affairs and in matters pertaining to the family. Unfortunately some men fail to understand this important procedure which can enhance tranquility, love and co-operation in the marital relationship. Our noble Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) is reported to have encouraged men to spend their wealth on their own family's needs first. It means little when a man has sufficient wealth and he either gives it away in charity or he hoards it whilst his family has a need for it and he does not spend his wealth on them.%0D%0A%0D%0AA husband has to also remember that his wife is a gift to him from Allah Ta'ala and he is therefore expected to spend his wealth on her lovingly. She cooks, cleans the house, looks after his children, nurses them through illness even if she herself is ill and attends to the children's and his needs. She is also her husband's helper, friend, cook, nurse, partner, lover, mender of his clothes and much more. If he had to hire someone to perform all these chores for him and his children for everyday of their lives, he would have to work ten times harder in order to make up for that hired person's wage packet.%0D%0A%0D%0AHis wife is his only due to Allah Ta'ala's mercy. His failure to keep her happy by sharing his financial wealth is miserliness and it is despised by Allah Ta'ala. A husband is accountable to Allah Ta'ala for his treatment of his wife. By not sharing with her when he is financially able is unacceptable. As long as she is his wife, she does not have to go out to work and he has to compulsorily support her and give her money to spend on her own needs. Out of the goodness of his heart he should show his appreciation of her and please her by giving her gifts which are useful and which will fulfill her needs. Have you tried to get a respected family member, an imaam or a learned scholar to speak to him about this matter? Do this as soon as possible if you have not done so.%0D%0A%0D%0APlease do not even think of leaving him or going to stay separately. This is a major step and in the long run it will not benefit you or the children. I am sure you aware of the terrible and evil conditions our young children are faced with in this country. The money the government gives is definitely not enough to sustain a family with school fees, food, water bills etc. Being without a father to guide and assist the children will have a detrimental affect on all your lives. I am sure that for this one bad habit of your husband's you do see many good characteristics in him too. Rather try to work this problem out with mutual understanding. Do perform salaatul haajah as often as you can. Also increase Tahajjud salaah, zikr, recitation of the Quran, istigfaar, duas and darood shareef.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala soften your husband's heart and guide him to include you in the decision making process and also to share his wealth more willingly with his family. May Allah Ta'ala also decrease your unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0AYou may write to me again if you wish.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A1SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai