I get depressed for every minute things and start taking things on my heart

Jazakallah for writing to the institute with a desire to strengthen your%0D%0AImaan and for wanting to develop a better character.This is indeed a great%0D%0Astep you have taken by reflecting about your thoughts and deeds which not%0D%0Aonly affect you but also those around you. It is better to realise that when%0D%0Aone makes mistakes, (which is normal for human beings to do), one should%0D%0Aalso work towards not repeating those mistakes.%0D%0A%0D%0AThis can be achieved by changing one's attitude and actions rather than to%0D%0Ago through life believing one is always right and perfect. It would appear%0D%0Athat your Umrah trip has had a positive affect on you, so insha'allah, all%0D%0Athat you asked and promised Allah Ta'ala you will now work towards%0D%0Aachieving. Alhamdoelillah, when you turn towards Allah Ta'ala in the way you%0D%0Ahave decided to do in seeking guidance and knowledge, rest assured that He%0D%0Ais very pleased with you.%0D%0A%0D%0AYou need to firstly accept that not every task you attempt or everything you%0D%0A%2Fothers do is going to work out the way you desire or want it to. This is%0D%0Aan unrealistic expectation on yourself and on the world. Nobody in this%0D%0Aworld is perfect and as long you have this expectation of others and even of%0D%0Ayourself, you will be an unfulfilled person or as you say, "a confused,%0D%0Adepressed and stubborn person". You are the one who knows best how others%0D%0Arespond to you when you sulk, remain stubborn and refuse to accept your%0D%0Afaults. You need to examine how you can change your responses to adverse%0D%0Asituations so that you can 'grow' positively as an individual. By taking%0D%0Aresponsibility for your thoughts and actions, you will be able to work out%0D%0Ahow you will allow your environment to affect you and also figure out what%0D%0Ayou will have to overlook to get on with your life. This also means telling%0D%0Ayourself, "I cannot do everything, nor can anybody else"; "I am not perfect,%0D%0Anor is anybody else", "I am not the most attractive, nor is anybody else",%0D%0Aetc.%0D%0A%0D%0AWhen you demand and expect what is realistic from others, you will be able%0D%0Ato accept that you yourself have limitations. When you see the faults in%0D%0Ayourself, you will start seeing good in others to the extent that you will%0D%0Arealize that no one is perfect. You write about your tendency to have%0D%0A'pride' in terms of being unable to admit your mistakes, wanting and%0D%0Awondering if people think good of you and your desire to be accepted by%0D%0Aothers all the time. In light of what I have described above, my hope is you%0D%0Awill be able to work on your needs and your wants. Our wants nearly always%0D%0Afar surpass our needs. So here again, make a list of your needs and your%0D%0Awants. Go through your list and ponder over what you think is realistic and%0D%0Aunrealistic in your list. Then work out how you will eliminate that which%0D%0Awill not serve as a 'positive' in your life. Do this slowly so that you do%0D%0Anot become frustrated. Over a period of time you will find yourself holding%0D%0Aonto opinions, responses, beliefs and attitudes which will help you towards%0D%0Amaturity and personal growth.%0D%0A%0D%0ARemember too that our Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) is reported to%0D%0Ahave said that "The person with an atoms weight of Pride will not see%0D%0AJannah". Pride comes from the influence of shaitaan. You could remind%0D%0Ayourself daily that everything you own or have, beauty, intelligence,%0D%0Awealth, health etc is purely from the treasures of Allah Ta'ala and that you%0D%0Ashould be thanking Him for it all as it is not at all through your own%0D%0Aeffort that you have these ne'maah. Ask your Creator to go on showering%0D%0Athese blessings on you and never to deprive you of any of them. A good way%0D%0Ato overcome your pride is to consciously tell yourself that everything you%0D%0Asay and do is purely for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala. Whether you help%0D%0Asomeone, give a date or water in charity, work industriously to pass an exam%0D%0Awith flying colours, overlook an insult or if someone hurts you and you%0D%0Aforgive them. Let your deeds and words reflect a desire to earn Allah%0D%0ATa'ala's pleasure and not the compliments, praises and approval of your%0D%0Afellow human beings. This will help you to develop Ikhlaas (sincerity) which%0D%0Ais very loved by Allah Ta'ala. So instead of seeking to please yourself or%0D%0Aothers, seek to please your Creator only. if you helped someone and they%0D%0Adon't thank you, do not be offended, ask Allah Ta'ala for the rewards in the%0D%0Aaagirah and don't have ill-feelings against anybody. You will give up your%0D%0Abad habits not because you will be disliked by your fellow human beings, but%0D%0Abecause you will earn the pleasure if Allah Ta'ala.%0D%0A%0D%0AIn giving up gossiping, think of the rewards you will earn from your%0D%0ACreator. When you hide the faults of others in this world, Allah Ta'ala will%0D%0Ahide your faults on the day of Qiyamat when you will be in desperate need of%0D%0Agood deeds. It is said that when we gossip about somebody, all our good%0D%0Adeeds are handed over to the person whom we think is so bad, and that%0D%0Aperson's evil deeds are deposited in our records for future punishment.%0D%0AImagine giving over all your salaah, fasts, zakaah, hadj, good deeds etc.%0D%0Aand being 'penniless' on the day when you will need all these virtues to%0D%0Asave you from the punishment of Jahannaum. Once you have said something bad%0D%0Aabout a person to another, the deed is done and very difficult to undo.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs far as your dressing and contact with men is concerned, think of Allah%0D%0ATa'ala's commands about modesty (haya), and not intermingling with non%0D%0Amahram, anywhere, even in your home and zinna. You are precious to Allah%0D%0ATa'ala. That is why through the examples of the sunnahs and following the%0D%0Aexamples of the most devoted women of Islam (the wives of Nabi (sallallaahu%0D%0Aalayhi wassallam), you have been shown the ways to guard your beauty and%0D%0Amodesty. Only those men who appreciate you as the loving Creation of Allah%0D%0ATa'ala should see your beauty displayed. You are not an object, so make%0D%0Asure you are not treated as one by non mahram men. It is up to you to make%0D%0Asure that you cover up your body in a way that your body shape is not%0D%0Arevealed. The fabric of your clothing should be of a thickness such that%0D%0Ayour skin or hair shade are not revealed. Wear a cloak or abaya over your%0D%0Aattractive and beautiful clothes so that you do not attract attention in%0D%0Apublic. Avoid unnecessary contact with non-mahram men and if you have to%0D%0Aspeak to them, use firm business like speech and speak only what is%0D%0Anecessary. Do not lower your voice nor make it appealing. There is so much%0D%0Amore to learn, as you know we have been commanded to seek knowledge from the%0D%0Acradle to the grave. Set aside some hours a week to gain knowledge of deen%0D%0Aso that once you understand and realise what a wonderful deen you have been%0D%0Aborn into. As you move closer to Allah Ta'ala you will desire and seek to%0D%0Aplease your Creator more and more. By observing the sunnahs you will be%0D%0Abringing alive all that is most blessed and precious in your life as a%0D%0AMuslim. Encourage your family members to join you in learning and teaching%0D%0Aso that all of you can benefit, insha'allah.%0D%0A%0D%0AMost important, perform your five salaah daily on time, with perfect wudhu,%0D%0Aattention, sincerity, postures and concentration. Ask Allah Ta'ala to grant%0D%0Ayou the ability to do whatever pleases Him, so even when you make zikr, dua%0D%0Aand recite the Quran, learn the best approach possible to gain maximum%0D%0Abenefits and gain the Ishq of Allah Ta'ala which you so desire. May Allah%0D%0ATa'ala grant you the closeness and His love which you seek. Ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A1SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai