i've been dating a girl for almost 3 years now...and we are very serious about our realtionship, nikka she accepts,but she does not want a imam to get involved.is there any other methods

Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your desire to get%0D%0Amarried.%0D%0A%0D%0AI take it that the lady is younger than you or your age. You are both young%0D%0Aat the moment and you indicate that she will have to wait till her other%0D%0Asiblings get married. You have both been dating each other for three years.%0D%0AYou also mention a desire to get married secretly since you say that you are%0D%0Atroubled about the fact that you are sinning and doing wrong at the moment.%0D%0A%0D%0AI would like to commend you for wanting to stop dating and perform nikah as%0D%0Asoon as possible. However you state that she does not want to have an imaam%0D%0Apresent at your nikah. Brother, both of you have a problem at this point.%0D%0AShe is not allowed to marry you without the presence and consent of a%0D%0Amahram. Her waalee has to be there to represent her. Any other way is not%0D%0Aallowed in Islam. There are lots of problems you will may encounter if you%0D%0Aget married secretly. Your parents and her parents too, will find out one%0D%0Aday that you both have deceived them, how do you think they will feel about%0D%0Athis? What if she falls pregnant? Can you understand that in Islam,%0D%0Amarriage is not just a pact made between two people. It is also an%0D%0Aundertaking which is made before Allah Ta'ala. You complete half your imaan%0D%0Awhen you get married. You need Allah Ta'ala's blessings and rahma to descend%0D%0Aon your union. Secret nikah is not acceptable.%0D%0A%0D%0APlease approach the imaam in your area or your parents and ask them to%0D%0Aapproach her parents with a proposal of marriage. They should impress upon%0D%0Aher parents that Islam requires that when their offspring have met their%0D%0Amatch, the nikah should not be delayed but performed immediately. Her being%0D%0Athe youngest daughter should not be an obstacle to her getting married now.%0D%0A%0D%0AI would also like to know if you are employed and in a position to support a%0D%0Awife. This is a very important consideration you have to keep in mind. Will%0D%0Ayour parents help you financially and morally? Do you think you are ready to%0D%0Aundertake the responsibilities of marriage? I ask you these questions%0D%0Abecause dating and being married are not the same.%0D%0AMy hope is that you are both aware that marriage entails shouldering the%0D%0Aresponsibiliies of adults. Namely, having to adapt to each other's likes,%0D%0Adislikes, moods, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies, and much more. Do discuss%0D%0Ayour plans with your family and try to do the honourable by getting married%0D%0Aopenly.%0D%0AFinally but not least, I do hope that you have sought Allah Ta'ala's%0D%0Aguidance on this matter.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala guide you both and protect your imaan. Ameen.%0D%0AAnd Allah Ta'ala knows best.%0D%0A%0D%0AWassalaam,%0D%0A%0D%0ASocial Department1%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Desai