Fatwa #857011 May 2003South Africa
For istikahara salaat I never knew that you should not depend on your dreams 100%. Can you give me a list of the daily dhikr that we should do and include one for depression?
Question
I had beautiful dreams and for every event there was rain, a sign of blessing. During the arrangements for our marriage, there was so much trouble and heartache for my parents ? this being a sign that I now understand we should have not gone ahead with the marriage. So what are the repercussions of going ahead with a marriage proposal like this? My marriage is good, like any other with our own ups and downs, but like others wish things can always be better. Can you give me a list of the daily dhikr that we should do and include one for depression?
Answer
Jazakallah for writing to the institute.%0D%0A%0D%0AYou write about istikhaarah dreams you had previously and the repercussions thereof. Sister, since you are already married and the fact that you mention that your "marriage is good", I suggest that you look forward and have an optimistic outlook on your future life.%0D%0A%0D%0AAlhamdulillah, as you say, all marriages have their ups and downs and now it is time to try and "grow" with your husband in every possible way. Insha'allah you will learn to open up channels of communication between the two of you and also express your needs to each other, openly, honestly and with respect. Personally, I think that respect and kindness are the cornerstones of any relationship between people.%0D%0A%0D%0AWhen we respect another person, Allah Ta'ala puts respect for us into the hearts of others. I believe too that when we respect others, we will be%0D%0Aslow to hurt, harm, criticize or belittle others. We are all different in our thinking, likes, dislikes, opinions, habits etc. When we accept our own faults and demerits, then it is easier to respect and tolerate the same in any other human being.%0D%0A%0D%0AYou have probably heard the saying about changing what you can and having the grace to know what you cannot change and accepting it. Allah Ta'ala is%0D%0Amost merciful and He knows what He has in store for us in this world and in the aagirah. Insha'allah, as long as we remain steadfast and obey His%0D%0Acommandments, we have little to despair about.%0D%0A%0D%0AYou have also requested a dua for depression.%0D%0AAfter every fard salaah, place your right hand on your forehead and read, "Allahumma inni- a'oozoobika hammi-wal-huzni." (one is asking Allah Ta'ala for protection from worry and depression)%0D%0A%0D%0APlease feel free to write again if you wish to do so. May Allah Ta'ala grant your duas, ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0ASister Fadila%0D%0ASOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai