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Fatwa #577130 May 2002South Africa

What is the duties of the man on the first night of marriage?

Question

I have some concerns with first night as I feel that when I marry the sunnat way, i.e. I only have met the girl with the parents present and then made nikkah, I wiil find it very difficult (I am shy) to be intimate with her. What is your advice?

Answer

ETIQUETTES OF THE FIRST NIGHT%0D%0A%0D%0AIn the ideal Islamic situation, the husband and wife will most probably be%0D%0Atotal strangers to each other, having no kind of personal contact with each%0D%0Aother previously due to the strict laws of hijab and pardah in the Shariah.%0D%0ACoupled with this feeling of strangeness are the natural constraints of haya%0D%0Aand modesty, that form an integral part of Imaan. Under the particular%0D%0Acircumstances it is quite natural that both the husband and wife will be%0D%0Aextremely bashful of each other and under considerable strain and anxiety.%0D%0A%0D%0AIn order to "break the ice", they firstly greet each other with the%0D%0Atraditional Islamic greetings of salaam. Thereafter the husband should%0D%0Agently place his right hand on his bride's forehead and recite, 'Allaahumma%0D%0Ainniy as-aluka min khayrihaa wa khayri maa feehaa wa khayra maa jabaltahaa%0D%0Aalayhi, Wa a'oodhu bika min sharrihaa wa sharri maa feehaa wa sharri maa%0D%0Ajabaltahaa alayhi' (Translation; "O Allah 1 I ask You of her goodness, the%0D%0Agood within her and the goodness upon which she was created. I seek Your%0D%0Aprotection from her evil, the evil within her and the evil upon which she%0D%0Awas created.)%0D%0A%0D%0AThereafter, wudhu and two rakats of Salatul-Hajah maybe offered as a token%0D%0Aof gratitude and thereby requesting assistance from Allah [Rabbul-Izzat] for%0D%0Aa successful and blessed marriage, pious offspring, etc.%0D%0A%0D%0AThereafter, they may read some Deeni literature to each other, particularly%0D%0Aon the topic of Nikah, etc.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0AMufti Ebrahim Desai
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