Fatwa #481727 February 2022South Africa
My wife was a divorcee (Khula) with a daughter of 6 years old when I got married to her
Question
My wife was a divorcee (Khula) with a daughter of 6 years old when I got married to her.
I'm married with her since 3 and a half years and also blessed with a son of 2 years old now.
Before my marriage, she liked an another man & wanted to get married to him. She tried all possible ways to convince her parents but they didn't agree and finally forced her to accept my proposal.
Before my marriage I was in touch with her over the call and also had asked for her permission if she is willing to marry me or not ? since I came to know that she had liked someone already. Her response was ,YES..!!! And later my NIKAH was performed as per the Sunnah and Sharia'h.
(I recently noticed that she was in touch with her past boy friend in an inappropriate manner through chats.)
It's been 3 ½ years for our marriage and now she has come across few articles & Hadith's which says that FORCED MARRIAGES are invalid & Harram in Islam.
She says that, out of mental disturbance and pressure from her parents side she had said YES to my proposal.
I want to forget and forgive her and move on with my life with her.
Below are the links of videos about the forced marriages that I recieved from her:
Mufti Menk :
Adv. Faiz Syed
Attached are the Hadeeth's references I have received from my wife.
Please advice if my marriage is VALID or is there a way to rectify this issue.
Jazakallah Khair.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected Brother,
We note the difficult position you find yourself in. May Allah rectify all your matters.
At the outset, we encourage you to engage excessively in Salaah, Istighfaar, Durood, and Du’a seeking the assistance and mercy of Allah in resolving the problems you are facing.
In principle, it is not permissible for a woman’s family to get her married without her permission.[1]
You have explained that your wife verbally consented to marrying you. Accordingly, your Nikaah is intact and valid.
It is not permissible for your wife to have any sort of conversation or relationship with this strange man. We recommend that you explain this to her with utmost love and compassion. If necessary, you may consider requesting your local Aalim/Aalimah or a pious female relative or friend to advise her.
At the same time, we encourage you to display affection and kindness towards your wife, spend quality time with her and beautify yourself for her such that she feels happy and satisfied in your company. You should also endeavour to engage in du’a, Dhikr and recital of Qur’aan as a family.
May Allah unite your hearts and grant you a lifetime of marital bliss.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Safwaan Navlakhi
Student Darul Iftaa
Durban, South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
12.11.1442 | 23.06.2021
[1] المبسوط للسرخسي (ج٥/ص٩)
[بَابُ نِكَاحِ الثَّيِّبِ]
(قَالَ:) قَدْ «بَلَّغَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - أَنَّ رَجُلًا زَوَّجَ ابْنَتَهُ، وَهِيَ كَارِهَةٌ، وَهِيَ تُرِيدُ عَمَّ صِبْيَانِهَا فَفَرَّقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - بَيْنَهَا وَبَيْنَ الَّذِي زَوَّجَهَا مِنْهُ أَبُوهَا ثُمَّ زَوَّجَهَا عَمَّ وَلَدِهَا»، وَهَذِهِ الْمَرْأَةُ كَانَتْ ثَيِّبًا؛ لِأَنَّ الرَّاوِيَ قَالَ: وَهِيَ تُرِيدُ عَمَّ صِبْيَانِهَا فَهَذَا دَلِيلٌ عَلَى أَنَّ نِكَاحَ الْأَبِ الثَّيِّبَ لَا يَنْفُذُ بِدُونِ رِضَاهَا، وَهُوَ مَجْمَعٌ عَلَيْهِ وَلَا يَكُونُ لِلشَّافِعِيِّ فِي هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ حُجَّةٌ عَلَيْنَا فِي الْبِكْرِ؛ لِأَنَّ ضِدَّ هَذَا الْحُكْمِ فِي حَقِّ الْبِكْرِ مَفْهُومٌ، وَالْمَفْهُومُ عِنْدَنَا لَيْسَ بِحُجَّةٍ؛ وَلِأَنَّهُ خَصَّ الثَّيِّبَ بِالذِّكْرِ، وَتَخْصِيصُ الثَّيِّبِ بِالذِّكْرِ لَا يَدُلُّ عَلَى أَنَّ الْحُكْمَ فِي غَيْرِهَا بِخِلَافِهِ ثُمَّ فِي هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ دَلِيلٌ عَلَى أَنَّ الْوَلِيَّ إذَا امْتَنَعَ عَنْ التَّزْوِيجِ زَوَّجَهَا الْإِمَامُ فَإِنَّ الْأَبَ هُنَا امْتَنَعَ مِنْ تَزْوِيجِهَا مِمَّنْ أَرَادَتْ فَزَوَّجَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - بِوِلَايَةِ الْإِمَامَةِ وَفِيهِ دَلِيلٌ عَلَى أَنَّ اخْتِيَارَ الْأَزْوَاجِ إلَيْهَا لَا إلَى الْوَلِيِّ؛ لِأَنَّهَا هِيَ الَّتِي تُعَاشِرُ الْأَزْوَاجَ فَإِنَّمَا تُحْسِنُ الْعِشْرَةَ مَعَ مَنْ تَخْتَارُهُ دُونَ مَنْ يَخْتَارُهُ الْوَلِيُّ
(قَالَ:) وَإِذَا زَوَّجَ الثَّيِّبَ أَبُوهَا فَبَلَغَهَا فَسَكَتَتْ لَمْ يَكُنْ سُكُوتُهَا رِضًا بِالنِّكَاحِ؛ لِأَنَّ الْأَصْلَ فِي السُّكُوتِ أَنْ لَا يَكُونَ رِضًا؛ لِكَوْنِهِ مُحْتَمَلًا فِي نَفْسِهِ وَإِنَّمَا أُقِيمَ مَقَامَ الرِّضَا فِي الْبِكْرِ؛ لِضَرُورَةِ الْحَيَاءِ، وَالثَّابِتُ بِالضَّرُورَةِ لَا يَعْدُو مَوْضِعَ الضَّرُورَةِ، وَلَا ضَرُورَةَ فِي حَقِّ الثَّيِّبِ فَلِهَذَا لَا يُكْتَفَى بِسُكُوتِهَا عِنْدَ الِاسْتِئْمَارِ، وَلَا إذَا بَلَغَهَا الْعَقْدُ، وَاَللَّهُ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى أَعْلَمُ بِالصَّوَابِ وَإِلَيْهِ الْمَرْجِعُ وَالْمَآبُ.
بدائع الصنائع (ج٢/ص٢٤٢)
وَلَنَا أَنَّ الثَّيِّبَ الْبَالِغَةَ لَا تُزَوَّجُ إلَّا بِرِضَاهَا
كنز الدقائق (ج١/ص٢٥٤)
باب الأولياء والأكفاء
نفذ نكاح حرّةٍ مكلّفةٍ بلا وليٍّ
ولا تجبر بكرٌ بالغةٌ على النّكاح
فإن استأذنها الوليّ فسكتت أو ضحكت أو زوّجها فبلغها الخبر فسكتت فهو إذنٌ
وإن استأذنها غير الوليّ فلا بدّ من القول كالثّيّب