I want to marry an Alawite girl - What do i do?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam, 

We admire your wisdom in seeking advice regarding your circumstance and your desire to abstain from sin. This is indeed a sign of your Imaan and Allah consciousness.

At the outset, you must understand that marriage is an extremely important step in one’s life and a lifelong responsibility. It is a lifetime commitment in which a long-term relationship is established. When one is choosing a spouse, one is choosing a companion for the rest of his life. Hence, it is of utmost importance that one makes a constructive decision, considers every avenue, and thinks for the long term. A pious spouse will be a source of contentment and preservation of one’s Deen.

Your parents wish the best for you and want you to be happy. They have your best interests at heart. They are not wrong to disapprove of your wish to marry a girl who is Alawite. Marriage is between two families not just between you and her. If there is friction between your family and hers (a family that is Alawite), it will most definitely affect you and put a strain on your relationship with your parents and your marriage. As a result, there is certainly a strong possibility of you falling short of fulfilling the rights of your parents, and that will be sinful.

Furthermore, you are at the tender age of eighteen wherein the passions and carnal desires are strong and unyielding. Oftentimes, one is blinded from thinking clearly and as a result, one ends up committing major sins. There is no doubt that such desires led you both to contact each other through social media. As you know, it is impermissible and a major sin to chat with non-Mahram women on any platform.

You state you both want to get married when you are a little older. You acknowledge that you are both young. What is the point in engaging in futile discussions now then? As you mature and grow older, your feelings and thought process may change. You may not feel the same way you feel now.

We advise you to take a step back and examine your choices and actions carefully. Understand that every time you contacted her, you have sinned and disobeyed Allah Ta’ala.

We advise you to cut off all contact with the girl to prevent yourself from falling deeper into sin. Do not risk the relationship you have with Allah for a girl whom you have only known for a short period of time. Make Taubah and Istighfar and refrain from making contact in the future. Control your desires and exercise patience seeking only Allah’s pleasure, for Allah Ta’ala is with those who are patient.

If after making Istikhara and Mashwara you strongly feel that you should get married, our advice is that you approach your parents or an elder and discuss with them about finding you a suitable spouse who is also Sunni. Differences in religion do become major sources of conflict in the future, especially when one’s children come into the picture.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Hasan Ahmed Razzak

Student – Darul Iftaa

Paterson, New Jersey, USA

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.