Fatwa #4339723 January 2020India
I do not find my wife attractive anymore - What is the cure for this?
Question
Assalaumu Alaykum
In the past I did not used to lower my gaze. Because of this I do not find my wife attractive now. What is the cure for this so that I can find my wife attractive?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
All Mighty Allah has ordered us to lower our gazes. See the following verse,
قل للمؤمنين يغضوا من أبصارهم
Translation: “Say (Oh Muhammad!), to the believers, that (they should) lower their gazes.”
The rationale behind the order is to protect us from ḥarām intake in our minds and hearts which is detrimental to our spirituality and happiness. The sight of women could lead to an addiction. A male is attracted to the form, shape and beauty of a woman. When a person is addicted to seeing women, nothing will satisfy him. The sight of another beautiful woman creates further excitement in him and there is no end to such excitement and enjoyment.
The solution is as Allāh has stated, lower your gaze. Rehabilitate yourself from the bad habit and be content with what Allāh has decreed for you. Be happy and satisfied with your wife. Value her and appreciate your wife.
As Muslims, our focus is on values and conduct. Focus on the good qualities of your wife. Value her and appreciate her good qualities. In order to repel the vision and thoughts of other women, consider what if the strange woman had a bad heart and bitter tongue? What if she humiliates you with her sharp tongue and evil heart? What if she hates you? What if she spreads evil and bad about you? In that situation, you will begin hating her rather than focusing on her beauty. This thought may be used as a prescription to create restraint in you. You should also make sincere taubah to Allāh Taʿālā and cry for abusing your eyes in seeing wrong. In order to avert the addiction and habit of looking at women, you may listen to the talk of Mufti Ebrahim Desai on safeguarding ones lustful glances.[i] The solution is don’t fuel your lustful glances any further and control yourself.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ibn Aḥsan
Student - Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
10-03-1441|07-11-2019