Fatwa #411618 November 2001Canada
pls take time read this, i know it is long, but i need the help, i wrote it in the comments area, and plz try answer me rite away, when u read it u will know why, im afraid i will die b4 i get this
Question
, i need help please, the guy i had this cursed relationship wont leave me alone, he wont rest until he marries me, if i refuse to marry him, he will tell my parents about the past, i dont know what to do, to marry him to shut him up, but i cant marry him, he says he will learn religion, but i dont know,he cant pray or read araby, plese give me advice of what should i do, i feel sorry for this guy, i really had good intentions to help him read, i just wish he can leave me alone and find help if he really wants it, eveything in his life is wrong, his family and relatives, im worried about him, and that makes me very emotional towards him, i wanna help him but i cant do that becuz i know my father will never agree and u cant learn araby in one night and one day, its takes years, but i feel this is my punishment for being wiht him behind my parents back, for agreeing to the bad things he wanted to do, please please write me back soon, i need to know how to handle this and take control of it, what do i tell this guy, please pray for me adn email me back, i feel if i marry another, i must tell him what ive done, that im not a virgin, but i dont know how, and im afraid he mite leave me for that or throughout our marriage he will remind me of it and put me down salam May God have mercy on me
Answer
Before embarking on any future relationship, you need to make sincere
Tawbah. Once you have made Tawbah, you need to start your journey on self
reformation. This self reformation in the shape of your daily Salaats,
recitation of the Qur'aan and the like will open the doors for a better
future. Then, once this is achieved, you need to inform your parents before
they hear it from someone else would lead to more serious trouble.
By this time, your friend would have received the message that you do not
want anything to do with him and he cannot inform your parents because they
are already aware of the problem. As for marriage, with sincere Tawbah and
change in life style and continuous Du'aa, Allah Ta'ala will make it easy
for you to marry someone that will respect you and not hold it for you that
you have had somebody else. But this can only happen if you can see a change
in your life.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
<
Tawbah. Once you have made Tawbah, you need to start your journey on self
reformation. This self reformation in the shape of your daily Salaats,
recitation of the Qur'aan and the like will open the doors for a better
future. Then, once this is achieved, you need to inform your parents before
they hear it from someone else would lead to more serious trouble.
By this time, your friend would have received the message that you do not
want anything to do with him and he cannot inform your parents because they
are already aware of the problem. As for marriage, with sincere Tawbah and
change in life style and continuous Du'aa, Allah Ta'ala will make it easy
for you to marry someone that will respect you and not hold it for you that
you have had somebody else. But this can only happen if you can see a change
in your life.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
<