Fatwa #31273 June 2001United Arab Emirates
My mother does not allow me to keep a proper beard. Should I obey her?
Question
My mother strictly does not allow me to keep a beard. What should I do? I am sixteen years old. I am sixteen years old and I am getting at that stage where the hair growth of my beard is getting very fast. I want to keep a beard, of a fist's length but my mother does not allow me at all. Even if I get the slightest beard, she strictly orders me to completely trim my beard and if I don't, conditions might get extremely harsh and untolerable! Then, my mother will also tell my father to order me to trim my beard. I have tried to apply wisdom and diplomacy, but of no use. My mother still notices my beard and STRICTLY orders me to trim it down. I am very worried. Please tell me what to do.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
No, you should not obey her in this matter. However, be kind and gentle in your response and tell your mother that while you love her with all your heart, you are bound to obey the orders of Allah Ta'ala and His Rasul (salallaahu alayhi wasallam) over her orders. [i]
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) has stated [ii]:
“There is no obedience to any creation (which would entail) the disobedience of the Creator.”
You should practice patience [sabr] if she treats you harshly but do not compromise. You have to be obedient to your parents in permissible actions – yet firm in not following any orders that would entail the disobedience of Allah. Your patience will yield sweet fruits, Insha Allah.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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ينظر: (تعديل حقوق الوالدين) في امداد الفتاوى، ٤/ ٤٨٠ - ٤٨٥ [i]
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق [ii]
المعجم الكبير. ١٨/ ١٧٠ ٣٨١