Fatwa #1482320 December 2006Bangladesh
we were compelled to marry without the involvement of our families
Question
Dear brother, Im here to seek advise for my marital issue which is making the life of my wife and myself in full of misery. First of all, we were compelled to marry without the involvement of our families. Now, she is living with her aunt in a distant country as I could not bring her to my family. She wants to come to me on the condition that her family have to convinced to give away her hand to my family. On the contrary, I have elder sister who is unmarried. In this context, Im ready to take her responsibility on my own and asking her to come back to my country. But she refused citing the reason above and asking me to go to her country instead as she wants to pursue higher education there. Please tell us what should we do to be together according to the shariah rule including related references, if possible.
Answer
In order to achieve the purpose of marriage, the husband and wife should be living together. There is no point in being married and living separate. Your wife wants you to convince her family to live with you. If you are successful in that, Alhamdulillah. If not, try to live with her and make arrangements for your sister. If that too is not possible then make mashura Istikhara and consider whether it will be in the interest of the marriage to continue or not.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai