Fatwa #1482220 December 2006South Africa
I went to see a girl for marriage....
Question
I am hoping that you can assist me. I went to see a girl for marriage. Am I allowed to speak to her on the phone for a few days thereafter, to get to know her better? If after a few weeks of seeing her, I feel that I need to see her again – can I go and see her again?
Since marriage is such a big step, I want to do things properly, the Islamic way – but, at the same time I need to be sure, and therefore I feel that I need to speak to her for a few days to get to know her better.
In addition, I feel that I need to see her again to be sure. Is this allowed? Or is this the doings of shaytaan, who is putting these thoughts into my mind? I really want to get married, but am not sure about this girl – therefore I feel the need to speak to her and possibly see her again. Please advise, because I have all these thoughts going through my mind.
Answer
It is not permissible for one to speak to a non-mahram female under any circumstance, even though it may be for marriage purposes. If after seeing a girl, there still remains a doubt about her in your mind, you may clear them by asking your mother, sister or any female Mahram relative to speak to the girl.
It is inappropriate to see the girl for a second time. This is the trap of shaytan. It will only be permissible to see the girl for a second time if you did not get to see her properly the first occasion.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai