Fatwa #147726 December 2006United States of America
haveI read a lot on the rights of a husband and wife towards each other, but I want to know ..
Question
I want to ask about marital relationships. I have read a lot on the rights of a husband and wife towards each other, but I want to know specifically hadeeths that can show a husband the correct way to follow the ways of our Prophet (pbuh). Specifically, if other people (family) are causing arguments between a husband and wife, what does Islam say about that? I heard that those that cause arguments between a married couple will be punished. Is this true? Also, How can I make my husband realize that I am emotionally and mentally being distressed because of arguments in our marriage? He is caring in every situation except when his family is doing things (wrong things like back biting, lying, cutting contact with us, participating in interest, etc) to cause fights between us. He doesn't realize that this is ruining our marriage. Please provide me with Islamic rulings in cases like these.
Answer
Your husband has a responsibility towards you as a wife as well as his family. He has to distinguish between both rights and maintain a balance between them. He should not be carried away by one that leads him to neglect the other. If he does so, he will be committing Zulm and oppression. Backbiting, lies etc are haraam acts as stated and condemned in the Quraan. Allah says “Do not backbite each other. Do you like that you eat the flesh of your dead brother”. Allah says “Behold, the curse of Allah is upon the liars”.
The consequences of backbiting and lies have far reaching effects. If a family backbites the wife or speaks lies about her to her husband and the husband is influenced by such haraam and evil acts, he will be guilty of the same sin. He should not accept any information against his wife without verifying that from her directly.
And Allah Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai