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Fatwa #1474828 November 2006South Africa

Since the beginning of my marriage my inlaws have lied to others about me to make me more acceptable

Question

I have been married now for 4 years. Since the beginning of my marriage my inlaws have lied to others about me to make me more acceptable, for example, saying I am a manager and not just a clerk so it would look better to the rest of the family.In addition to the above, they are racists and swear each other (and me) on a weekly basis. This past week I just couldn't handle it anymore and asked them not to speak like that in front of my children. In Islam everyone is equal except when it comes to piety. Now everyone in the family is upset with me. My husband wants me to apologise and I feel I don't want to since I am trying to follow Islam while they are not.

Is it worth staying in a marriage if you have to compromise on following the teachings of Islam

Answer

In order for us to offer you appropriate advise, it is important for us to know more about yourself as you refer to the issue of racism.

It is also important for us to know the background of your in laws and the nature of the disputes.

Nevertheless, Islam teaches us to tolerate and to forgive. It is human nature to dispute and it is part of good character to suppress ones natural instincts. We advise you to tolerate your in laws and forgive them. If it means for you to humble yourself and apologise for the sake of unity and peace do that as good character always has a good effect and a long lasting impact. You’re in laws or some of them will take effect with your good character and realise their wrong. If you continue displaying Islam and good character with your in laws, you will be instrumental in reforming them.

And Allah Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM MUFTI EBRAHIM DESAI

 

  1. When the world was in darkness of inhumanity, Allah Taala gave knowledge and guidance to Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam).
  2. The guidance through that Divine knowledge had changed the mindset of people and transformed the evil practices of people to the highest morals.
  3. Education and knowledge of Divine guidance is the backbone and foundation of reformation, prosperity and peace.
  4. Islam provides guidance and solution for every aspect of life. Ignorance of such knowledge leads one to look down upon Islam and suffer an inferiority complex.
  5. When one studies Islam, the Quran and Hadith, then only one will value the in-depth wisdom in such knowledge.
  6. Muslims are generally ignorant about Islam and that is the fundamental cause of our decline and retrogression.
  7. We have to educate ourselves on Islam and rise to the challenges of the times and once again prove ourselves as a dynamic Ummah. For that sacrifice, take out time to study Islam from reliable Ulama and scholars.
  8. If you cannot make your son an Aalim of Deen then encourage others to become Huffaz and Ulama. You will get the reward of the person studying and guiding people through his knowledge.
  9. If that too is difficult, at least help and assist a person who wishes to study Deen.
  10. Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, “When a person passes away all his deeds terminate except three, Sadaqah e Jaariyya (perpetual reward), pious child that makes Dua for the parents and knowledge through which others benefit”. 

SEE OUR ALINAAM WEBSITE FOR HOW TO ENROLL AT OUR INSTITUTE- www.alinaam.org.za

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