Fatwa #146691 November 2006South Africa
Zaid is married to Zakira. They have married across ethnic lines- society would probably consider Zakira’s ethnicity greater than Zaids. They do not have any children and are married for two years now. Zaid is effectively the only son, as his only other sibling resides overseas
Question
Respected Ulema,
Zaid is married to Zakira. They have married across ethnic lines- society would probably consider Zakira’s ethnicity greater than Zaids. They do not have any children and are married for two years now. Zaid is effectively the only son, as his only other sibling resides overseas. While they live under the same roof as Zaid’s parents, they cook and eat separately and they have a separate entrance leading to the back section of ‘their’ house. There is also a door that leads from the parent’s house into Zaid’s house. So the house is divided into roughly two equal parts.
Zaid complains that his wife is too possessive. While they both use the separate entrance when entering the house, Zaid occasionally goes through the ‘separating door’, when going for Sallah, etc. He also uses this opportunity to make salaam to his parents and inquire about their well being. This ‘visit’ is a matter of 3 minutes. Zakira does not want her husband to use the ‘separating’ door and wants him to leave through the separate entrance, thus not seeing his parents. Zaid agrees on condition that he can make salaam to his parents whenever he wants even if he uses the separate entrance – that is he can knock at the door of his parents house/section and inquire about their well-being [InshaAllah]. Zakira disagrees and says that they should have stipulated visiting time [one hour a week] to visit their respective parents. Zaid is willing to take Zakira to visit her parents everyday. Zakira has made it abundantly clear that she feels Zaid’s relationship with his parents is too close, and she therefore wants to facilitate the severing of this closeness. She has also made it clear that she would not be attending any of Zaid’s family functions.
Zaid is considering a divorce. Would a divorce under these circumstances be justified? Or could you please advise accordingly.
Shukran
Answer
Muhtaram brother Ahmed Hoosen
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
Shariah has emphasised on the rights of the parents. Zaid is duty bound by Shariah to respect his parents and fulfil their rights. As a married person, he has to fulfil the rights of his wife. He has to maintain a balance between the rights. According to the information provided, Zaid is fulfilling his wife’s rights. He has provided for her a separate dwelling with a separate entrance and kitchen. It is improper for Zakira to restrict her husband from seeing and greeting his parents. If Zaid does that, it will be tantamount to being disrespectful to his parents. What will anyone regard Zaid’s attitude to be if he meets his parents only one hour a week in spite of staying next to them and seeing them everyday? Zaid cannot submit to his wife’s unjust demands. He should seek the assistance of some seniors of the family to advise her.
Divorce is a very serious issue with major implications. It should be a last resort. Every avenue should be exhausted to make Zakira understand and change herself.
And Allah Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai