I have a big problem and I need your sincerest advice inshuallah. This isn't your typical boyfriend girlfriend problem. This is concerning my ex husband and myself. We were married at a very young age,

I have a big problem and I need your sincerest advice inshuallah. This isn't your typical boyfriend girlfriend problem. This is concerning my ex husband and myself.  We were married at a very young age, both just out of HS. I was a new convert to islam and hadn't yet established my deen or any foundation at all for my islam.  Neither of us were practicing at the time and our marriage was completely outcasted by the lebanese community. Needless to say we divorced. Neither of us knew the procedures following divorce.  I moved out of the home that day, had no one to intercede on my behalf coming from a kaffir family and not really having a wali and the divorce was mostly encouraged on both ends by all around us.  There was no arbitration between the 2 of us and no attempts made to recconcile the 2 of us.  Since divorcing almost 4 yrs ago we have both continually tried to move on with our lives. We both remarried. I even moved from canada to Jordan in sincerest hopes of moving on and getting over this person.  (My second marriage didn't work for reasons unrelated to the first marriage. He went on to marry his cousin in hopes of getting over me and in pleasing his family.  We still love each other very much and since then have both changed drastically alhamdulillah.  I know my religion and am now a devout practicing muslim alhamdulillah. The only thing hindering us is this continuing relationship between the two of us that we know is haram but want so desperately inshuallah to make halal. I'm not thrilled about the idea of being a 2nd wife but alhamdulillah this is a solution given to us from allah swt to protect ourselves from jahennam.  His whole family is opposed and is insisting that it is a huge zulm on his behalf. Also since it's not just some girl but his cousin it would obviously cause alot of problems within the family and is considered to be a shame.  Please, we just want to right this wrong.  We can't just forget each other. Wallahi we've both sincerely tried and allah swt knows best.  Also his mother is saying she will curse him and the family will disown him. He doesn't even really like this girl but know his responsibilities and rather then divorce her he wants to fullfill these obligations. He's trying to educate them and prepare them in the best manner possible. Please help.