Fatwa #1413830 March 2006United Kingdom
She masturbates and she has been trying to stop for a while, now she does it less. when she does, she arouses, does she need to do ghusl everytime and if she just thinks about bad stuff,
Question
1) She masturbates and she has been trying to stop for a while, now she does it less. when she does, she arouses, does she need to do ghusl everytime and if she just thinks about bad stuff, and gets wet does that mean she needs to do her ghusl too or since shes just thinking its ok?its a bit hard to understand the rules becuz when people check about this topic, its usually for men.
2) since she is going through this, does this mean that she is in need to get married? her parents wont get her married off just yet they want to wait, she doesnt know how to tell them shes ready because she is doing haraam and she woudnt be if she was married, so what should she tell her parents as it is impossible for her to tell them the real reason/
3) since she does bad stuff, does that mean that Allah (swt) will give her a husband as bad as her, or if she prays for someone who will guide her to the right path, it will be ok? "for good men are good women" , she prays a lot and asks allah for forgiveness everyday and night, but still she ends up doing the same bad stuff over and over again..
Answer
Jazakallah khair for writing to the institute. You mention that a young lady who is ready for marriage is having a problem due to the fact that her parents are not aware of her reasons for wanting to get married. It appears that they are also not interested in allowing her to get married at the moment.
You are also concerned that she masturbates.
Sister, it is clear that the young lady wishes to get married. Her parents should be approached by an elder person in the family to convey this message to them. They do not have to be told about her habit of masturbation.
Ask the person to stress that the lady has a strong desire for marriage and that according to Sharia this matter has to be death with immediately.
Yes, she does have to make ghusl when she has a 'wet dream', when she masturbates or whenever she feels vaginal secretions during her fantasies.
Ask her to fast frequently if her health allows her to do so. She can also perform lots of nafl salaah, keep herself in a constant state of wudhu, make istigfar, zikr, lots of dua and give sadqua often. Do encourage her to read the Quran in the language she understands so that she can learn how to cope with the challenges which face her as a young Muslim woman in this world.
Allah Ta'ala is most Forgiving and most Merciful.
Insha'allah, with sincere tawbah and repentance, she will be granted a pious and kind husband. The effort is hers to make. Allah Ta'ala loves all His creation when they make effort to move closer to Him and obey His commandments. She has to try to make a sincere effort (by making use of the means I have suggested) to help herself give up with habit. She should also consider keeping herself busy in voluntary work etc. so that her time is taken up with constructive activities. May Allah Ta'ala guide her and grant her a pious, kind and respectable husband. May He also guide her parents to fulfill her rights over them in the matter of her marriage ameen.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best.
Sister Fadila
Social Dept.
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai