What is the right way to find a wedding partner yourself?

Nikah - Choice%0D%0A%0D%0AIslam is a complete code of life which is the single formula that will bring%0D%0Aus bliss and joy in this world and the eternal life of the hereafter. It is%0D%0Athe system designed by our creator, Allah Ta'ala who alone has complete and%0D%0Aperfect knowledge of the intricacies of human nature. On no issue of%0D%0Aimportance to our daily life is the Shari'ah silent. Every aspect has been%0D%0Aaddressed where we have been given such guidelines that are simple yet all%0D%0Aencompassing. The critical juncture of Nikah has also been graced with these%0D%0Abeautiful guidelines. The choice of your partner in marriage is absolutely%0D%0Acrucial since your entire future and that of your offspring rests on it. We%0D%0Ahave been given such beautiful guidelines in this matter which are sure to%0D%0Abring great joy, if only we could subject ourselves to it. The brevity of%0D%0Athis article does not allow us to discuss the wealth of information on this%0D%0Asubject. However, we will suffice with just two Ahaadith.%0D%0A%0D%0ATHE CHOSEN BRIDE%0D%0AThe first of these Ahaadith contains guidelines for the prospective groom.%0D%0ANabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, "Generally four aspects are%0D%0Aconsidered in a woman when choosing her for marriage. These are her wealth,%0D%0Asocial standing, beauty and Islamic character and piety. Become successful%0D%0Aby giving preference to her Islamic Character and piety". (Mishkat). When%0D%0Aone realizes that marriage constitutes a situation where the problems of%0D%0Adaily life as well as the burden of domestic and social responsibilities%0D%0Ahave to be faced with ones partner, then the wisdom of the grounds of%0D%0Apreference becomes very clear. To a very large extent the very Deeni%0D%0Acharacter and Jannat of the coming generation is influenced by the mother.%0D%0AWhile the beauty of a woman is important to the level that there should be%0D%0Asome natural inclination, making this the basis, as is so often done%0D%0Anowadays, is the height of foolishness. It must be realized that once the%0D%0Aattraction wears off, it is the personality you will have to live with. Only%0D%0Athe fear of Allah Ta'ala will create within a woman the spirit to give%0D%0Apreference to her husband and children over herself. For a woman of piety%0D%0Alooks at the gains of Aakhirat, not the small sacrifices of this world.%0D%0A%0D%0ATHE CHOSEN GROOM%0D%0AWe can well appreciate the vital need for having a wife of Islamic stature%0D%0Aespecially in the modern and permissive society in which we live where women%0D%0Aare subjected to such propaganda that is coldly calculated to strip her of%0D%0Aany decency or desire to be a submissive wife and loving mother.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe second Hadith deals with the guidelines given to a prospective bride and%0D%0Aher family. Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, "When an offer of%0D%0Amarriage is received from a person whose piety and character pleases you%0D%0Athen accept this proposal. If you do not do so, then great Fitnah (mischief)%0D%0Awill spread on the earth" (Mishkat).%0D%0A%0D%0AHere too we find parents generally basing their selection upon the wealth%0D%0Aand social standing of the groom, while scant attention is paid to his Deeni%0D%0Acharacter. Aside from the disastrous and far-reaching consequences with%0D%0Aregard to the Aakhirat of our daughter and grandchildren, we often find%0D%0Aourselves having to come to terms with the disastrous domestic situation of%0D%0Aour daughter. Wife bashing, neglect, coming home at ungodly hours,%0D%0Ainfidelity are just some of the vast spectrum of heart-breaking problems our%0D%0Adaughters are faced with. Surely a preference of Deeni character would have%0D%0Agiven us the inner peace of heart that all these problems had been avoided.%0D%0AThis would be coupled with a warm sense of satisfaction achieved by the%0D%0Awonderful sight of the Islamic nurturing and development of our%0D%0Agrandchildren before our very eyes. The fruits of this can never be matched%0D%0Aby all the treasures of this material world put together.%0D%0A%0D%0AConsider just one incident from the lives of Sahaaba (Radhiyallaahu Anhum),%0D%0Awhere their abstinence from the wealth of this world is clearly exhibited.:%0D%0AThaabit Bunaani reports that Yazid bin Muawiya (The ruler of that time) sent%0D%0Aa proposal for the daughter of Abu Darda (Radhiyallaahu Anhu). The proposal%0D%0Awas rejected. One of the members of Yazid's court gave him Dua and requested%0D%0Apermission to send a proposal for himself. The permission was grudgingly%0D%0Agiven. This person thereafter sent a proposal which was duly accepted. This%0D%0Acreated quite a buzz amongst the people who could not fathom why the rulers'%0D%0Aproposal had been rejected while that of a lowly courtier had been received%0D%0Afavourably. Abu Darda (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) explained his action likewise, "I%0D%0Alooked towards my daughter and imagined the day when eunichs (Court%0D%0Aservants) would be at her back and call and she would be surrounded by%0D%0Awealth and people. Where would her Deen (Desire for Aakhirat and abstinence%0D%0Afrom this world) be in those days?" (Ahmad, Hilyah).%0D%0A%0D%0AEditor%0D%0A%0D%0A