Fatwa #1168721 May 2004South Africa
I am married and live with my parents. Would I be earning Allah’s punishment if I displease my wife and agree with my father’s wife? What should I do?
Question
My wife and I have had no problems as sometimes happens in this type of an arrangement, however since we have had a child we need more space. My parents have no problem with me moving out but would obviously like us to stay. I would also like that but would also like to be independent. My Dad has thought that he would like to build onto the existing house a separate section thereby separating us from them and also giving us independence. I am happy with this but my wife would like to move out totally separate. I feel that we will be separate from my parents and my wife would still have her independence if we build and not move.
Answer
Jazakallah for writing to the institute. Your question about 'where to live' since your family has grown, is one which has to be carefully weighed and answered by you.%0D%0A%0D%0AIt is best that you weigh the pros and cons and choose the option which will lead to the greatest harmony in your marriage in the long run.%0D%0A%0D%0AIt is not a sin to live away from your parents. The harm to you in this world and the aagirah lies in the neglect of your parents, i.e. If you neglect to care for them and attend to them in their time of need, more especially in their old age. I suggest that you make mashura with your wife and discuss what both of you feel about the whole situation. If she conveys a strong desire to live separately from your parents, then consider her request if it is feasible. Come to an understanding that both of you will make a point of visiting your parents frequently and that you will take care of their needs. Try to obtain a balance with your wife on this matter. You say that all of you enjoy a good relationship with each other at the moment. Insha'allah, as your life partner, your wife will assist you in everyway to fulfill your parent's rights over you. Serving your parents will earn you Jannah. By helping you to serve your parents, your wife will earn your pleasure and thus she will earn her Jannah also. May Allah Ta'ala guide you towards fulfilling your parent's rights over you and may He strengthen the bonds of kinship ties in your whole family,ameen.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A1Social Dept.%0D%0AMufti Ebrahim Desai