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Fatwa #1160821 May 2004United Kingdom

Im not sure if she likes me because I am Pakistani and she is Arab.I would like to make a marriage proposal to her.How should I go about it to avoid rejection?

Question

Can a Shafai woman marry a Hanafi man? I have known this girl for 3 years at university and I like her.Im not sure if she likes me because I am Pakistani and she is Arab.I would like to make a marriage proposal to her.How should I go about it to avoid rejection?

Answer

Even if a Shafi woman can marry Hanafi that would not solve the problem at hand. Lustful glances, admiring the woman results in becoming another victim of the poisonous arrow of shaitaan disguised in the name of love, admiration and beauty. A humble plea, caring for a brother and sister in Islaam "lower your gaze" is a command in the Quraan. Fear of rejection is building the romance in the heart, which is a deception and hence if she rejects you may feel hurt pain and loss of confidence, depression etc.%0D%0A%0D%0AThen on a realistic level, have you experienced or observed love relationships giong sour as a result of incompatibility and sometimes in views, customs, intelligence etc. Well from experiental knowledge if Arabs look down upon Pakistaanis or vise versa consider already the impact of acceptance infamilies leading to arguments or ill-feelings. Secondly some people expect exhorbitant dowries. Thirdly if you still wish to propose perhaps do so bearing in mind, nothing guarantees you to a perfect marriage or yet acceptance of proposal. Read Istikhaara for marriage to her before a final commitment. Do not sink into despair, follow the correct sunnat procedure of seeking a partner in marriage and Insha Allah you will have a beautiful marriage full of love and happiness.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala guide you and her.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A2SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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