Fatwa #1143320 April 2004Pakistan
Start of Marriage Life - 1 . please advise me what are the best ways to do this, I mean what azkar or salaat or dua is the best?
Question
I am going to be married in 3-4 months InshaAllah. I want to ask some questions regardign the start of my marriage. Please response to each and every answer individually and be as descriptive as possible. 1. I want to start my first night with the zikar-ulluh with my wife. Fro this purpose, please advise me what are the best ways to do this, I mean what azkar or salaat or dua is the best? 2. I have heard that one should start the first night with salatul-Hajah. Can you please specify the method of that salat. I mean is there any specific soraats to recite in this salaat? 3. Is it better that my wife also performs this salaat on the first night or is it best for me to perform this salatul-Hajah just myself? 4. If both of us can perform this salatul-Hajah then can we both perform that salaat by standing besides each other and perform the salaat individually? 5. Can we perform this salatul-Hajah in such a way that I will be a imam and my wife as a muqtadi standing back to me just like we both are in a Jamaat. Can we perform this salaat in this manner? Hope you will clear these points in details and also please pray for my marriage life. Jazakallah Assalam-O-Alakum
Answer
Maasha Allah it is pleasing to find youth wanting to follow the correct path. Our suggetion try and purchase 'Kitaabun Nikaah' also available in Pakistan. Also 'The gift of Nikaah (Tahfatun Nikaah)'. For duas Husuul Haseen has a compilation of duas. Our suggestion to follow these advices of our Pious Elders and Ulama Kiraam.%0D%0A%0D%0A1. The first night alone greet her. Place your right hand on her forehead and read :- Allahuma inni asaluka min Khairiha wa khairi ma fiha wa Khairi ma jabaltaha alayhi wa aoozubika min sharriha wa sharri ma fiha wa sharri ma jabaltaha alayhi.%0D%0A%0D%0A"O Allah, I beseech You for the goodness and virtue You have blessed her with and embedded in her nature, favour me with it, and I seek your refuge from her wickedness and vice in her nature, protect me from it." %0D%0A%0D%0A2. Make wudhu and the couple should perform salaatul Haajat. No specific suras are mentioned. Make dua for a good happy life and pious children. Do not force any isues on your wife. Each one at each one's pave. %0D%0A%0D%0A3. Then engage in some beneficial deeni talk, do not become a preacher or frown upon her talk through wisdom and tact opening up each other's feelings , temperaments etc.%0D%0A%0D%0A4. Note you should show care and consideration for her gradually becoming open and free consider her fear, shyness etc. Intimacy varies as to inclinations and patient. This too is an ibaadat, your love and gentleness will open doors of happiness. Insha Allah. %0D%0A%0D%0A5. For Saalah in jammat your women should be behind men not in line. %0D%0A%0D%0A6. Note read in Kitaab on importance of foreplay for intercourse and afterplay. Dua for intercourse is:" Bismillahi Allahumma jannibnas shaitaana a jannib- bish shaitaan maa razaqtanaa." " In the name of Allah, O Allah !save us and the mischief of the devi."%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala grant you a blisful marriage , pious wife and pious children and grant you piety too.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A2SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai