My husband has got married again. i am finding it very hard to cope with it...can u please tell me what i can do islamically to cope better.

It is only natural to feel hurt and pain. It is also very difficult for women to accept this today especially as women are brought up in a Westerniised or cultural environment;not prepared for a polygamous situation; considering this ,the possibility that you probably have lost your self-confidence and self-esteem,as you probably may be asking the question :Why me? What is wrong with me? I bore him children, Why now? thus plunging you into greater depression.%0D%0A%0D%0ASince your husband has already married,let us aproach the situation accordingly on a positive note;%0D%0A%0D%0A1. What can you do? How do you remove this depression? start by acceptance,don't fight the situation emotionally.Acceptance does not mean that you lose your womanhood,neither your rights,neither your beauty,neither your intelligence, neither your good qualities.%0D%0A2.In fact generally through observation, one sees the importance the husband places with the first wife because she has been the pillar of strength from youth through difficulties and success,and further she is the mother of his children, hence you hold a very special place in his heart.%0D%0A3. A commen mistake women in polygamous marriages make, they start to compare %2B compete with the other women,wondering what the short falls are, rather take the extra time that you now have to rather spend on yourself, and spoil yourself. When last did you have time for yourself, besides sacrificing your time between husban,home,children%2B other possible work or chores, often women tend to neglect themselves.%0D%0A4 Start by looking at yourself in the mirror.Appreciate all the positive qualities Allah Ta'aala bestowed upon you, look at possible areas of neglect on clothing %2F doing yourself up, especially at home, bring in some exercises on excellent manner of stimulating blood flow %2B chemicals in the body %2B brain which alleviates depression.%0D%0A5 Create a mood of happiness and peace in our home.Avoid allowing your sadness %2B depression from over-riding you wich may lead you to expressing anger %2B frustration on the children.%0D%0ASome possible suggestion of creating a pleasant atmosphere are:%0D%0Aa%7D Aeromatheropy candles %2F scents.%0D%0Ab] Smile %2B laugh with the children.%0D%0Ac%7D Smile with your husband. %0D%0A6 Bring in the essence of love into the life, show love to your children, your husband and adopt an approach of pleasantness.%0D%0A7. Also remember to dress beautifully for your husband.%0D%0A%0D%0AInsha'allah you will be rewarded in this world %2B the next for your patience %2B positive efforts.May Allah Ta'aala make it easy and give you happiness in your life %2B remove your depression,%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A2SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai