Fatwa #108708 March 2004South Africa
Where to draw the line between wife and family...will get certain comments from the family that he is a "sissy" how does one go about living life and pleasing everyone
Question
Sometimes as a husband you feel very pressurised from all sides.On the one hand you have your wife and on the other hand you have you family. How is one supposed to please everyone. Taking in to consideration that everyone has certain rights over you how is one supposed to fulfill these rights. There are certain times that one is unable to do so. I have been a person that has always put the rights of others over mines but nobody seems to appreciate that fact and at that time it seems like im only fulfilling only that persons right and then you will get certain comments from the family that he is a "sissy" how does one go about living life and pleasing everyone
Answer
We empathize deeply with you as many men are in a similar situation.%0D%0A%0D%0AFirst analyse your duties to your family members. Start with your parents and see to their well being. It is your duty to take care of your parents, not your wife's. Ask about their health, and fulfil their needs to the best of your ability. Analyse your duties to your wife. Love her both emotionally and physically, see to her needs. Be kind and gentle with her. She is an amanat entrusted on you by your Creator. Do not raise your voice neither abuse her. Don't force duties or responsibilities onto her which are not her duties neither force her to do your duties towards your parents. However, should she be doing much more or anything, appreciate her and thank her. That will encourage her.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe rift between mother and wife where the husband is torn between is common. Make it known to both sides that you are going to fulfil the respective duties. Love for a mother and father is different and no one can replace such a love and relationship. Likewise love and relationship of a wife is different from parents.%0D%0A%0D%0AIf some misunderstanding arises or problems handle tactfully, diplomatically quickly resolving matter and re-instate status of love and happiness on both sides.%0D%0A%0D%0AMay Allah Ta'ala make your task easy and grant you full reward and abundance%0D%0Aof happiness all round.%0D%0A%0D%0Aand Allah Ta'ala Knows Best%0D%0A%0D%0A2SOCIAL DEPT.%0D%0A%0D%0ACHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai